Leaving London for the country? Anyone else done this?

[Annie105]

Hi all struggling to find work in my sector which works around my new life as a mum. We have a great house in London with a garden. However my husband works really hard and if we want to be able to remortgage I need to find a full time job with similar pay to the one I recently was made redundant from. Not going to be easy!

We had some deep chats at the weeeknd and my husband admitted after 25 years living here he is fed up. He hates the tube, he doesn't want to be out of the house from 6.30 to 7 most days, he would love to sell up and move somewhere rural and have some sort of life change i.e. Run a small business. If we sold our house we could live somewhere rural with a smallish mortgage and he wouldn't need a London salary. That said I love London. I get up in a rural village and although it was idyllic I couldn't wait to get out aged 18!!

Has anyone made the leap?? If we moved we would be moving to part of the country where we have no friends/family. That seems scary!

Just bumping this in case anyone has any opinions or good pointers. We just had an offer accepted on a house (we are going to run a b&b out of it) in rural Suffolk!

Very drastic!

Relocating to somewhere you have no connection can be very hard. At least you and DH will have each other for company working together 24/7

I know you are right it is a bit drastic! I am bloody nervous! The "choice" of where to move to be nearish a couple of good friends /family are north Scotland, Surrey , rural Ireland or Nottingham and none of them felt right for us. We met through work so use to work together side by side for many years but I suppose running our own business would be different! So many of our fabulous network we have built here in London (I only knew one person when I moved here as did my husband) are now leaving or planning to now that most have kids or just want an adventure before kids and in an ideal world everyone would be heading to at least the same county but isn't working like that!

Argh!

How old are your DC's? We stopped running our B&B last year due to DH's illness but our DC's are so much happier now

He is just over 1 and we are hoping for a second. I should add the b&b thing will be self catering cottage set up for a while while we suss out how to grow the business. Husband will find a job in the interim most likely. I'm sorry to hear your DH is unwell. Did you find running a b&b very intrusive to your family life?

Worse move we made

Admittedly, our move out of London wasn't well-considered, because DH had been made suddenly redundant when DS had just been born, and grabbed the first well-paid job he could find, because we needed the money -- and the commute was killing us both, with a newborn, and the job was in a provincial city neither of us wanted to live in, so we moved to a house and village I'd never seen. BUT while it was inevitable at the time, it hasn't been a happy move.

I think this is a particularly insular part of rural England, and while it's pretty and safe, we can have a much larger house than our tiny London flat, and there's a lovely village school for DS, now 5, I'm lonely, bored, dislike the only local job I can find, and frustrated at how little there is to do here, and how little variety in people there is compared to the rural part of my home country where I grew up. We're planning our escape.

We did it and haven't looked back, but we've still got regular jobs and my family is fairly local. Plus we're not too rural, we're in a big village but that's in the middle of nowhere.
I have built up a nice network of friends from toddler groups and feel very content.
But i know my husband hasn't found it as easy, he misses his old friends and its struggling to make his own new friends. He's not a natural driver and is just not used to country life. Plus the only pub is a bit naff!
But we talked about moving somewhere less rural and he shot me down!

It'll be much harder not having any family around. I would be hesitant about moving too rural. Being able to walk to a shop shouldn't be underestimated! Also the more rural you go, the less chances you'll have to meet new people.

My in-laws are literally in the middle of nowhere in the west country. It is beautiful but it's hard work when we go as everything is at least half an hour drive away. And the nearest supermarket (that isn't Waitrose) is 20 miles. I wouldn't want to be doing those kind of miles all the time. They have become very isolated and I'm not convinced they're very happy.

Wow amazing feedback. Thanks. My brain gears are churning again! I am worried about being a bit isolated but we were hoping running a business would give us plenty to get on with. And we hope having a kid/hopefully more than 1 one day will give us opportunity to meet friends. The local pub is also naff.. and nearest supermarket is 7 miles away in the nearest market town. If we do this move there is no way back to London as we couldn't afford to buy here again what with house prices now and stamp duty. I think it's the fact it's sort of irreversible to where we are now which is the most scary! The property we have offered on is the dream we have had for almost 4 years now. Unfortunately being close to family isn't really an option as both our families live in places where we do not want our son to grow up for various reasons. However very close to our families

You can be just as lonely in a large village or town. I have lived all over England and when we last moved (back to North London area) I told dp if he got a job outside the M25 again the he was in his own.
I don't think I made one friend in the 12 years we spent away from London. I don't drink so the pub culture passed me by and the job I got I just thought I had been transported back to 1950 given the attitude to outsiders.

Never ever again

Crikey olivers it was that bad?! Are your DC happier in London?

Didn't have dc till I was back in London. I had a dreadful fear that if I had dc then I would be stuck there forever.

I think it could be ok if you drink or go to church. I was just a fish out of water. I am not 100% English I didn't drink and didn't go to church so I was very much on my own

We've just moved not to far from Nottingham. we no longer feel we are all living on top of each other and the eerieness of not hearing sirens all the time. It's too early to tell, DP works more regularly away, but when he is home it's for longer and better quality. I'm looking for jobs, not having to work full time or do a 3-4hr commute every day is an exciting prospect.

Yes, very intrusive, we strarted when I was pregnant with DD, she is now 11, good idea about self catering

WE did it and it's gone well. Have made nice friends through dcs.

we did it..lovely part of south Devon. Beautiful beaches, good schools. But we broke up and I'm here bringing dc's up alone. ..will move away as soon as they finish school..2 more years.

Aw wow ! So exciting ! I moved from a big city and onto a farm never been near farm animals before but now I cudnt be anywhere else, we even got married on the farm! We run it as a bunnies lots of hard work but it’s paid off

Life is an adventure, do it!! Xx

Business not bunnies! Lol tho we do have our fair share of them xx

I want an update from the Op seeing as this thread is from August - I’m hoping she’s done it by now!!

Holly I wish I had a dream update!!! So we had been visiting various counties within Devon, Norfolk, Suffolk and Oxford but we just can't absolutely pin down one area which ticks as many of the boxes as possible. There always seems to be a catch. We actually put an offer in to a property in Suffolk with a lovely self catering cottage and an uncoverted barn but we were gasumped by a cash buyer. In hindsight it's a good thing as we realised it was exceptionally rural and perhaps this was unwise. See what a previous poster above said in distance to things!

I've just recently secured s new job in London after looking for 6 months (was made redundant on mat leave 😲) so financially this will take the pressure off my husband for a while. We decided that if I'm employed then if he really feels at breaking point with his work then he can quit as we will have my income to pay bills etc. We are really hoping next year will be the year to find he dream Location. One which will work out well. It's just so hard to find as there isn't one obvious place for us to go!

No matter where we go we will be without friends and family as they are all either in London or the places we grew up which are to suitable for us To move back to for various reasons.

It's actually hard to make this jump as London feels like a safety net of jobs and friends and family. But we would like our son to have the best of both worlds. Parents who can spend time and do school pickups etc instead of grinding like mad and shoring up childcare. Some city exposure but outdoors living too!!

Any suggestions greatfully received!!!