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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Original poster

Things to consider when moving from city to village

52 replies

CityDweller · 17/05/2015 23:03

We're thinking of moving from our very central (and very small) London flat to a village in Sussex. The village has a school, post office, pub and a corner shop. It's 5 mins drive from a small town (with supermarkets, swimming pool, etc) and a longer drive to bigger towns/ city. We'd get a lovely house, big garden in a part of the world we like a lot and a lifestyle change that we currently find very appealing. We have 1 DC (2) and another on the way. I'd be spending my maternity leave with DC2 in this village, with DH commuting to London 3 days a week. Once I go back to work DH will become a SAHD.

So, what are the pitfalls and things to consider when trying to make this decision? I'm aware of things like having to drive more, less cultural and general diversity, etc. Currently we can walk from our front door to many of London's major cultural attractions (museums, etc) or they are otherwise a short bus or tube journey away. I found this a real life-saver since having DC1, but that might also be because we live in a tiny flat and are prone to cabin fever, so we have to get out at least once, usually twice, a day.

Part of me thinks this move could be fantastic for our family. Part of me thinks it could be an absolute disaster. And I just don't know how to figure out whether it's the right thing to do or not.

OP posts:
justcametomind · 27/03/2024 00:59

The countryside is bleak and depressing in winter. Lots and lots of mud, moss on everything even the people look moss covered by February and their cars covered in algae. I notice how much each winter ages my neighbours, it's not a steady decline but instead measured in winters, and many cough a lot, seems to be bad for respiratory health, they look grey, and cognitive decline seems more prevalent (apparently growing up in the countryside doubles Alzheimer's risk). You might think there will be more fresh air but with wood burners etc. a lot of villages stink in winter, I mean the sort of pollution I only experienced living overseas in developing countries. Also spraying of fields isn't particularly healthy either, and stinks too. Distinct lack of wildlife and birdlife even insects because as romanticised living in the countryside is everything is hunted, shot or sprayed to death, and they bang on about badgers. Most of the wildlife I do see is 'managed' for shooting. The most common birdlife is jackdaws picking at the lawn all winter, something out of a Hitchcock/Bergmann, adding to the bleak feeling. People become less socialised, more cranky, more difficult to deal with then in a city, lots of pettiness. Crime surprisingly bad, just not reported as much but sometimes it takes me by surprise how awful and violent it can be. Terrible road accidents too, carnage for teen drivers, so much tragic loss of young life just because there's no public transport. Market towns in the evenings become no go zones with tanked up and frustrated young country men, no better than a city really, add squaddies in some parts of the country, honestly I prefer going out in a city at least there might be police around who are mostly missing in the countryside. I think for me it's really the sogginess of the countryside, there's no escaping the mud, moss and a garden that's unusable all winter. There's little glamour. A wardrobe full of clothing I no longer bother with, nothing to dress up for and with it the weight gain because there's no social pressure and it's aging, very aging. All the neighbours are elderly or retiree boomers who constantly upgrade or gentrify their surroundings taking away what little rustic charm there is but are also not really locals and park up their huge motorhomes. The village hall dedicated to their Zumba gold or seated keep fit and the internal scream moments of being told for the umpteenth time to go for a walk (the average age of the local Rambler's group is 70), used to love a park to park walk in a city but now resent walking. BBC This Country is worth a watch, it's really not far off. Local hospital won't attract the brightest and the best, so will feel more like a community centre for the elderly enjoying a day at the hospital from their isolated villages, and going for an appointment you will feel far too young and wonder if they're really doing a good job so always ask for an appointment in the nearest big city with doctors who still care about their careers. Public transport is no longer for everyone whatever walk of life, the feeling of equality gone, public transport is for those too young or too old drive, too dim or with a criminal conviction, everyone else will be driving a huge oversized tank of a Chelsea tractor. Diet lacks variety, ethnic shops in major cities really do help a lot in this, suddenly you will be getting the same food delivery every week, same same. Children, well it's boring for them too, and they will want to leave so in the end what's the point. Behaviour becomes surprisingly difficult in bright children and a lot of money gets spent getting out, more holidays and more time away, more cost. Socioeconomic gap bigger in the countryside due to old landbased money and lack of employment except for public sector (local council, NHS and military), many rely on private schools to offer what's missing from city life and many will have Saturday schools because there's nothing to do otherwise, there will be more pressure to go private in the countryside as there's nothing for children to do.

100ks · 06/04/2024 03:07

justcametomind · 27/03/2024 00:59

The countryside is bleak and depressing in winter. Lots and lots of mud, moss on everything even the people look moss covered by February and their cars covered in algae. I notice how much each winter ages my neighbours, it's not a steady decline but instead measured in winters, and many cough a lot, seems to be bad for respiratory health, they look grey, and cognitive decline seems more prevalent (apparently growing up in the countryside doubles Alzheimer's risk). You might think there will be more fresh air but with wood burners etc. a lot of villages stink in winter, I mean the sort of pollution I only experienced living overseas in developing countries. Also spraying of fields isn't particularly healthy either, and stinks too. Distinct lack of wildlife and birdlife even insects because as romanticised living in the countryside is everything is hunted, shot or sprayed to death, and they bang on about badgers. Most of the wildlife I do see is 'managed' for shooting. The most common birdlife is jackdaws picking at the lawn all winter, something out of a Hitchcock/Bergmann, adding to the bleak feeling. People become less socialised, more cranky, more difficult to deal with then in a city, lots of pettiness. Crime surprisingly bad, just not reported as much but sometimes it takes me by surprise how awful and violent it can be. Terrible road accidents too, carnage for teen drivers, so much tragic loss of young life just because there's no public transport. Market towns in the evenings become no go zones with tanked up and frustrated young country men, no better than a city really, add squaddies in some parts of the country, honestly I prefer going out in a city at least there might be police around who are mostly missing in the countryside. I think for me it's really the sogginess of the countryside, there's no escaping the mud, moss and a garden that's unusable all winter. There's little glamour. A wardrobe full of clothing I no longer bother with, nothing to dress up for and with it the weight gain because there's no social pressure and it's aging, very aging. All the neighbours are elderly or retiree boomers who constantly upgrade or gentrify their surroundings taking away what little rustic charm there is but are also not really locals and park up their huge motorhomes. The village hall dedicated to their Zumba gold or seated keep fit and the internal scream moments of being told for the umpteenth time to go for a walk (the average age of the local Rambler's group is 70), used to love a park to park walk in a city but now resent walking. BBC This Country is worth a watch, it's really not far off. Local hospital won't attract the brightest and the best, so will feel more like a community centre for the elderly enjoying a day at the hospital from their isolated villages, and going for an appointment you will feel far too young and wonder if they're really doing a good job so always ask for an appointment in the nearest big city with doctors who still care about their careers. Public transport is no longer for everyone whatever walk of life, the feeling of equality gone, public transport is for those too young or too old drive, too dim or with a criminal conviction, everyone else will be driving a huge oversized tank of a Chelsea tractor. Diet lacks variety, ethnic shops in major cities really do help a lot in this, suddenly you will be getting the same food delivery every week, same same. Children, well it's boring for them too, and they will want to leave so in the end what's the point. Behaviour becomes surprisingly difficult in bright children and a lot of money gets spent getting out, more holidays and more time away, more cost. Socioeconomic gap bigger in the countryside due to old landbased money and lack of employment except for public sector (local council, NHS and military), many rely on private schools to offer what's missing from city life and many will have Saturday schools because there's nothing to do otherwise, there will be more pressure to go private in the countryside as there's nothing for children to do.

Edited

This is very accurate, the obsession with killing everything in their own strange way of sterilising the countryside, I find aspects of it very dark. You will get called a townie and bullied if you have a different opinion on anything- albeit a valid one. You will get called a townie even if you moved from another rural village actually.

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