Things to consider when moving from city to village

[CityDweller]

We're thinking of moving from our very central (and very small) London flat to a village in Sussex. The village has a school, post office, pub and a corner shop. It's 5 mins drive from a small town (with supermarkets, swimming pool, etc) and a longer drive to bigger towns/ city. We'd get a lovely house, big garden in a part of the world we like a lot and a lifestyle change that we currently find very appealing. We have 1 DC (2) and another on the way. I'd be spending my maternity leave with DC2 in this village, with DH commuting to London 3 days a week. Once I go back to work DH will become a SAHD.

So, what are the pitfalls and things to consider when trying to make this decision? I'm aware of things like having to drive more, less cultural and general diversity, etc. Currently we can walk from our front door to many of London's major cultural attractions (museums, etc) or they are otherwise a short bus or tube journey away. I found this a real life-saver since having DC1, but that might also be because we live in a tiny flat and are prone to cabin fever, so we have to get out at least once, usually twice, a day.

Part of me thinks this move could be fantastic for our family. Part of me thinks it could be an absolute disaster. And I just don't know how to figure out whether it's the right thing to do or not.

I loved village life but it is essential to get involved in it - there are lots of things to do in most villages but a lot of people in our village just didn't join in, and they tended to be the ones who said 'there is nothing to do'. .

You have to make the effort to support the jumble sales, WI, litter picks, Parish Council, mobile library, coffee mornings despite the instant coffee, Church, summer fete etc etc - if you really can't face that sort of thing - then perhaps village life isn't for you? We loved the lifestyle when our DC were young but now being teenagers it is better to be in a small town.

Yes, rainy days could be a bit dull - only one bus a week so hopeless if you relied on public transport - but they can be a bit dull anywhere. . Swimming pool is great - but our nearest one was a 30 mile round trip !

True - def don't need a museum every time it rains. It's our default option as there's a good one 5 mins walk away and our flat is just too small for any extensive crafts, etc, at home. It's hard to get my head around the idea of having more space at home to do stuff and therefore not needing to escape the flat twice a day for everyone's sanity.

And we love joining in! One of things we like most about where we live is its strong community, so I like the idea of moving somewhere that has that to get involved with. I want to live a 'local' life.

Maybe it would be helpful to list a few things we like about country living if you are still wavering? For me it's (with no disrespect or judgement for people who live in towns or cities):

Knowing everyone who lives in my village, and knowing I could rely on them in a crisis
My DC not feeling so much pressure to grow up too fast
Being able to access green spaces whenever I want/need to
Feeling safe enough to leave the house unlocked
Quiet
Local teenagers on tap for babysitting because other employment options are limited
Watching wildlife
Proper snow
Being able to park easily (at home, and in town)

There are some downsides of course, but I can't imagine living anywhere else.

You mention that your DH would be driving to work, but what about you when you go back to work and he's a SAHD? Will you be using the train to travel into London?

I would say that if you're lucky enough to be able to live in central London then don't do it! Sorry, not helpful i know.

I live in a market town surrounded by villages and a lot of my friends live in the villages. They are able in most cases to walk to school, but had/have to travel for GP, baby clinics, most shops, library, swimming pool / soft play etc, all toddler groups apart from one in the village hall, Brownies, Cubs, any extra-curricular activities. Small village schools are less likely than bigger town ones to have many after school activities too. Whereas living in town I do all this on foot, which is great for me and great for the DCs. If your DH will have a car it makes a big difference.

Also, do most of the school children come from the village? If not and it has a wide rural catchment it's more of a palava meeting friends after school. Our school catchment in town is 1/2 mile radius so everyone is in close walking distance of everyone else. We can also be in a bluebell woods within 10 mins walk of our house, so we're not totally urban either.

juneau DH will take train into London for work 3 days a week until I go back to work. I'd drive, probably, or possibly sometimes take the train to work (not in London). And I work from home between 1 and 5 days a week, depending on the time of year. We will have two cars (one for me to get to work and one for DH to use with the kids)

queen yes, but we live in a tiny flat and we're already tripping over each other. We need/want to move anyway - if not to this house in the village then probably to a nondescript London suburb where the house will cost us about 40% more than this one in the village, be much smaller and have a 'postage stamp' garden. As you can tell, we're not jumping up and down at the prospect of that option.

Whoknows that's a good question about the school catchment. I'll ask when I go and look round.

It sounds like it really comes down to how much I/we mind having to drive to get to stuff. DH doesn't mind that at all. I'm a bit more apprehensive about it.

I moved to a village which sounds like the one you're describing but up north. its been brilliant and moving when I was on mat leave was great timing as everyone loves to coo over a baby so i met lots of people. my village has a lovely playgroup eicj helped with making new friends for dd1 and me. if yours doesn't maybe you and DH can set it up. local friends mean less driving!

you said it wouldn't be a forever move. will you have priced yourself out of London if you want to return?

Check and double check whether your local planning authority has a 'Local Plan' in place and that your village isn't earmarked for development. Our village in Sussex is threatened with over 3000 houses which we neither want nor need as councils in Sussex are constrained by lack of space because of the National Park but still have to meet the quotas imposed by central government.
You might also be surprised to be paying more in council tax than you currently do in London and you will get less for it. Schools are funded much less per head than in cities as all the formulae are skewed against rural areas.

Cheshire there's already a once-a-week baby and toddler group in the village. The village school also has a nursery attached, that I'd hopefully get a place for DD in if we do move. And we'd (hopefully) be fortunate enough to be able to keep hold of our London flat, so that would (again hopefully) give us more flexibility in terms of moving in the future.

fifty good point. The house's current owner says the area is protected from development but I need to find out more information about that... And find out about the council tax, hadn't even thought about that. Ours is quite cheap at the moment. And, of course, our utilities and other bills will go up a lot (driving more, so more petrol, running two cars, etc).

Yes, do check local plans, we are just outside a national park (by about 500m) and are looking at a thousand or so new houses in the fairly near future around our town but outside the NP boundary. Most of our council area is within the NP and is protected, we're taking the whole development quota for the district it seems.

Can you say where the village is? There's a few of us on MN from West Sussex and we might know the area to give you "the lowdown" or highlight any local issues.

Never being able to step outside your front door without bumping into someone you know, and everyone getting to know your business (and gossip about you).

These are the things which would make it impossible for me to ever live in a village.

There is that Mintyy. Everyone knows or wants to know your business. And most things revolve around the church. DH and I are atheists so it limits us a bit. But the positives definately outweigh the negatives for me.

Not going to say the actual village, tatty, it's in East Sussex and is one of the villages near Uckfield.

Pil live in a village (infact fil has lived there all his life) with no shop and one bus a day to Ipswich.

If a car they don't recognise drives up their road, he and mil have a conversation about it!

The falling ins and outs with neighbours are impossible to keep up with!

Dh had a restricted social life in his teens and would never want to live in a village again.

That said, pil seem happy enough.

We moved out of London to the edge of a village 11 years ago. Bloody love it here.

Our dc were older 8,6,4 so school age. Made meeting people very easy and partly why we delayed moving until they were this age. That and not wanting to continually get a newborn into car seat to go anywhere.

I don't agree with Ragwort. We haven't joined anything at all in the village like the WI or go to th church, but have made fabulous friends with about half a dozen neighbours. Being told that would have put me off moving and we haven't found that at all. The friends we made through our kids schools, has been more than enough, with old friends, we don't have many weekends that aren't filled up. Of course you naturally meet people over the years and cement friendships, at the local pub, through dog walking etc. And you will naturally meet people through baby groups

Oh it's brilliant. I would thoroughly recommend it.

(Also, our three are teens now and the driving them round hasnt been a problem at all. Ds1 can now drive himself, and looking back, it was a small window of his life where we had to drive him to parties etc. Not an issue for us at all)

Ooooo! Villages round there are gorgeous, and I can totally imagine you finding a stunning house there. The only downside I can think of is the commute to London will not be nice, the A22 is v slow, as is the A272. Uckfield always feels more more remote to me than it actually is as it takes a while to get there. Not sure re train service up, presumably into Haywards Heath then up from there? Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will comment. Stunning countryside in that neck of the woods.

We moved out from London 10 years ago. We looked at several houses in small villages but ended up in the centre of a small town instead, and I'm so relieved we did. We have doctor, chemist, takeaways, school and a few shops within very short walking distance and plenty of "life" going on outside the front door. I now realise I was idealising rural life and would have felt incredibly isolated, and would have found it very irritating indeed to have to continually get in the car for anything and everything.

I'm moving to a rural area from greater Manchester in three weeks time and although I am so looking forward to our new start I am absolutely dreading rubbish broadband! The

We used to live in London, but moved out when I was pregnant. We now live in a small village (800 people).

I love it, and it's worked well for us. Dc have had a somewhat idyllic childhood, making dens, climbing trees, etc. We have made loads of friends locally. We are a few miles outside Cambridge, so can access all the facilites there if necssary.

I would say that a village with a one form (or even 2 form) entry school is better than a village with only 3 or 4 classes (so mixed year groups).

You will be surprised how much does go on in villages. Ours has lots of after school activities at primary level, plus tennis lessons, dance classes, cubs and scouts etc. My children both learned (different) instruments with teachers in the village.

They are now teenagers, and yes, they do tend to go into town in the evenings but they cycle there so I'm rarely called to be a taxi service. It sounds as though you'll be very close to a town so hopefully yours can do the same when they're older.

I think that, given you can retain your flat in London, you should give it a try. I would also suggest that it might take 2 or 3 years before you feel "embedded", so give it a chance.

Village gossips.

Please if you do move most people don't give a shit your from London and even less want to be told.

I live in a lovely village, within 20 minutes’ walk in various directions we have one of the best restaurants in Britain, alongside a number of cracking local pubs, our broadband is only about 30mb/t, bus service is crap, but we have the sea on one side and the lakes on the other.

My teenage kids have loads to do via scouts, guides, youth club, after school clubs etc….

Nearest supermarket is 20 miles away, and if you really need them Tesco, Asda and Sainsbury’s deliver, but I’ll stick with the fantastic local butcher, baker and green grocer. Mobile phone signal is crap, but I can live with that, would I swop of the city – no chance.

@CityDweller curious to know if you made the move and how you’ve found it? ! I’m toying with a similar move and looking for other people’s experiences of village life after a city.

Hi @Violet19. Yes we did. In the short term it didn't work out, but ultimately it was probably the right decision. We stuck it out in that village for about 4 years before moving on. It was overall a positive move, I think and when we moved on we didn't go back to London (but to a different village).

Things I hated: having to get in the car to get anywhere; parochialism; politics (more right wing); lack of diversity; lack of like-minded people... But that was to do with that specific village, rather than village life more generally. We're in a different village now, and it doesn't really have any of those problems. So pick your village carefully!

All that being said, nearly 9 years on I still miss London. And as our kids have got older, and our London friends' kids have got older, and therefore their own social lives, the weekend meetups/ visitors from London dwindled.