On pathway to retirement but finding work more stressful as a result

[lokijet]

Not sure whether I should be posting in work or retirement…

I have resigned and am on 3 months notice but am also dealing with sorting out my retirement/ pensions and a recent bereavement where I’m executor

work don’t want me to say anything to my team or stakeholders and we are doing budgeting and year end stuff - I seem to be finding it all far too stressful (more than normal) as I have lost all patience for the internal politics and have little empathy left for the senior management priorities but can’t let any of this show

i m lying here stressing about all of this when I won’t even be there after end of jan

i know logically I should just let it go but it’s making me feel like shit and I just want to press fast forward to my last day

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. What would you like to change?

So you are leaving in 3-months but your employer does not want you to tell anyone?
Not certain where they stand with that, I can understand them not wanting you to discuss it with clients but colleagues, that is a different matter and only natural.

When I retired (at 57) I had several months to get things sorted but was free to discuss it with anyone I wanted to (or who would listen!).
Getting your affairs in order does take time but my company was very good and paid for us to have advice from a wealth management company and it was a great help.

I would like to a) let everyone know. or b) just go - forget about work and focus on everything else

Tell management that you will be letting colleagues know you are retiring by ?(1st December?).
If it's causing you so much stress you need to take some time off.

Yes tell your manager that you want the team to know by 1 December . What a @secret to have to keep!

I am sorry for your loss.Being an executor is draining, I found. It’s probably adding hugely to the stress even if you don’t realise it.

Regarding “letting go” at work: when someone leaves they get blamed for everything anyway. So perhaps just don’t worry about the budget - apply the 90% rule and submit it to management to review.

Just start mentioning retirement plans in the office dropping the odd ‘thank god I won’t have to do this next year’ or ‘I will be pleased when I hand this over’’ followed by a ‘sorry can’t give details yet’. Management can’t stop that and they need to grow up and have some succession planning in place.

I agree you need to tell them that you're going to tell people. What are they going to do, sack you? You're already leaving so they have no leverage.

All got too much on Saturday and ended up having a totally disproportionate hissy fit over a broken hoover - am self referring to the GP re low mood

Can you request some sick leave?
you still have ? 2 months before you can leave?
or try to negotiate shorter notice period / reduced hours ?

I ended up going off with stress in the last month building up to my retirement. My workplace just kept piling more work onto me, even allocating me night covers which was a real kick in the teeth. I was signed off for 6 weeks and in that time my work was reallocated, so I went back for the last 2 weeks to tie up lose ends and say goodbye.
Workplaces really need to manage this period better, it left me feeling quite bitter.

@lokijet you have so much going on it’s no wonder you are feeling low.

With a bereavement you are going through the grief cycle. You are also going through the grief/change cycle as you retire. They don’t necessarily align and so it’s not surprising you are finding it tough.

On top of that you are Executor, even if the admin is straight forward it is extra “work” and stress.

Be kind to yourself. Seeing your GP is a good idea even if it’s just to discuss your options.

Your work are being unfair to you, this is a major life change and you need and are entitled to have input in how and when people are told. I agree with pp you give work a deadline and after that you tell colleagues. Certainly this needs to be before Christmas.

One thing I did was to work out how many days I had left to work. With Christmas/New Year and annual leave it’s probably less than you think. Being able to say only 30/25/20 days left to your manager certainly focuses their mind.