Has retirement been what you thought…

[RetiMent]

Just that really. I’m seriously considering taking VR (I’m 58). Has it been what you thought? Looking at the positives and negatives, advice welcome, thank you.

Husband retired 2years ago aged 67 ,I work part time .
Mortgage paid off but monthly income is less than half prior to retirement.
He thought he had planned well and has a fairly decent pension but we are really having to watch our money and he has started to do a casual job to earn enough to pay for his rather expensive hobby !
So my advice is to really work out if you can afford to retire and still maintain the same lifestyle.
I read about people travelling etc after retirement but unless people were on a huge income beforehand I cannot work out how people can afford it .
We never accumulated savings because our money was spent on mortgage ,bills,helping children through University etc .

I retired at 53 in 2021, and moved to France and still have my weekday 7am alarm on just to remind me I don't have to get up and slop down to London/drive across the country/spend all day on spreadsheets or in TEAM meetings any more.

Never enough time to do it all, no idea how I fitted work into the day.

I'm a bit bored sometimes tbh. Retired a year ago, still finding my way. Ill health doesn't help, hubby still working, friends mostly still working, so I read, play games, do a tai chi lesson once a week and practise daily. Go to town once a week, go to the library once a week and meet with a friend once a week.

Housework has kind of defaulted to me, as has the garden, and the dog, and the cooking... hubby was surprised when I said I can't wait for him to retire and do half! I think he thought he'd be swanning about doing nothing.

My Dad was similar. He never gave up work. He adapted what he did a little past 60 and the lunches got longer but he even went into the office between two major liver operations. He had to be busy and he had to have a purpose to his day.

Yes it's been absolutely brilliant.
I thoroughly recommend it

What do you do with your free time?

Sadly no. OH became ill and died and now I am ill. So not quite what I had in mind!!

Walk, garden, cooking, visit friends, go to the theatre , cold water swimming, knit and nat , dancing,sewing, shopping, reading, writing , social media, TV you name it .

There is no free time! I think if you are healthy and able to do stuff you will do stuff whether you are paid or not. Or you give up your high stress job and take early retirement and then decide after a while that you need something to do so you volunteer or get a much less stressful job. Or you take up a hobby, for me it was pottery last year and I've never looked back.

Also busy here, something on every day, recently joked we needed to slow down a bit! Pilates, swimming, volunteering, meeting friends, visiting family, art hobbies, the list is endless...😅

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you have some support around you.
I retired after nearly 40 years of very hard work and a few weeks later my son died and I have been very ill with various things ever since, my family are completely traumatised and I don't think any of us will recover.

It isn't the retirement I expected.

Condolences to @endofthelinefinally and @Mischance 💐

when I have too much free time, I get very undisciplined and lazy and tend towards depression

I'm the same @Charlize43 I think posts on this board tend to paint a very positive picture of retirement (and that's fine as that is the poster's experience) but lots of people struggle in retirement for many reasons.

Agreed, @LornaDuh . I have a group of female friends, most of whom have retired relatively early. We have our ups & downs - the downs are often about money, sense of purpose, loss of confidence. We support each other and have a lot of fun too! I personally provide a fair bit of childcare, which gives me some structure and drive.

My husband retired earlier than planned and I have to say it’s been much harder than I anticipated. He had a very stressful , demanding job working very long hours. We moved to another area and bought a house in a rush. It was the wrong house and area . Lots of complicated difficult stuff going on in the family which meant we were unable to relax or really think about what we wanted so we’ve been firefighting ever since. Finally calmed down a little bit but there are still issues with elderly mother, children all struggling in different ways. As a result my health has cracked and I have developed lots of health issues which are now having a serious impact. Husband is spending a lot of time on his own hobbies which I don’t share, and I haven’t found anything fulfilling for myself, mainly because I don’t want to be in this area or this house. We are far from gc and two of our adult kids so I hardly see them.
I haven’t made friends here so I feel quite isolated.
Planning to move somewhere else and start again. Nothing has gone to plan.

Sorry to hear that @Conundrumseverywhere - are you planning to move closer go DGC?

Yes, that’s the plan. Though it seems to be being derailed at the moment! (Story of my life!)

Well it's not how I envisaged when I was young. Then I guess I thought me and the husband would take cruises, go to the garden centre and go for lunch out.

Now I'm actually retired, I'm divorced so nobody to do these things with. However somewhere along the line I turned into an unsociable old git so for the most part it does not bother me. (always was an introvert and now I have fully given myself up to it)

Even retirement didn't happen as I envisaged. First I took redundancy from a job at 46 planning on getting another job. Then parents got ill one after the other and one died. I became the others carer for 5 very difficult stressful years. Now at 52 (both parents dead) I have just sort of 'retired' after being a carer. I was totally burnt out and exhausted and needed to take time off to start putting myself back together again.

This is the first year that I have started to feel better and free.

It's lots of little things that you can't do when you are out working. Going back to bed in the morning with a cup of tea to read the news (mumsnet!). Spending more time with the dog and taking him on better walks. Sitting in the conservatory for the afternoon because it's sunny (but cool outside) and the conservatory is nice and warm. Baths in the morning which last till lunchtime. Reading more books. Watching more documentaries. Even bought my first jigsaw (since a kid) although I haven't done it yet. Started collecting art. Started growing fruit and vegetables. Taking an interest in a bit of gardening for the first time. I did manage to go to the garden centre today (though with the dog, rather than a husband). Being able to do things outwith the rush hours and also learned to avoid 3-4 as places are mobbed when kids get out of school. It's great though getting your shopping done during the week and getting the £0 priced collect and collect slots at Tesco. I always go to the hairdressers now on their quietest day. It's easy to be in for deliveries and today I got 4 loads of washing out and dried cos it was a lovely day.

Sometimes do feel sad when I see the older couples out and about like I thought I would do but then I like doing what I want when I want it too. Not really bothered about holidays (had quite a few luxury long haul holidays in my younger day as well as closer sun holidays and UK holidays).

I want to move house at some point as I have a 3 bed house and would like a 2 bed bungalow. Whether I can pull it off or not is another matter.

As I'm at the start of my retirement things can change. I have a huge detailed spreadsheet on my financial ins and outs and I do have to be quite careful with my money but since I'm a homebird anyway that is going ok. No mortgage or debts and a decent amount of savings which I am living on till I can take my first pension at 55 though I will probably not take it till 57.

I figure it's a luxury to be retired at 52.

I think it is easier in alot of ways to be on your own now with the internet. For example if I want to watch a film there is thousands to choose from on streaming services. I wouldn't go to the cinema anyway so don't need partner to go with. Same for reading. I used to love to go to bookshops but they are mostly gone now and I am quite happy with my kindle.

Now I wonder how I would have time to work. So many things I take for granted. Much better to have peri and menopause when you don't have to work either. I remember how sharp I used to be and now I'm so dozy sometimes.

No kids so no grandkids either. No babysitting duties for me. However this means I can release equity from my house and spend the lot without worrying about inheritance. Any surplus will go to charities.

I do worry about proper old age especially after seeing the decline of my parents. I hope to live to a decent age say 80 and then just die in my sleep without needing carers or help. My only worry is pets being left behind so need to plan for that.

Sometimes I am still shocked that I am here. Where did my life go. I remember being in my twenties and my thirties then my forties sort of streaked past and now I'm the target customer for Saga Holidays. Sort of shocks me.

I was made redundant almost 5 years ago at the age of 49. I decided to retire. I spend a lot of time on my hobbies, learnt 2 languages, travel, volunteer in a school, and see my DM quite a bit who is 76 and lives alone.

My OH still works 3 days a week so we don't get sick of each other!

My working life was pretty stressful with long commutes. I have no regrets at all.

I love it! I took VR at 59 then did a few temp jobs, followed by a part-time job, then it became casual, and I retired last year. I had a list of things I hoped to do but haven't even started yet, I'm just enjoying doing what I want when I want. However I can live off the smell of an oily rag and prefer a simple life, it might not suit others.

I retired at 60 and knew finances would be tight but the cost of living rise hit! However I don't regret it. I had a project of downsizing as soon as I retired. That kept me incredibly busy for the first six months. I moved closer to family (at their instigation) and have enjoyed the new area.
I look after grandchildren two days a week, volunteer six hours a week, meet friends and family. I took up art and enjoy painting. I spend time in the garden too. The good thing is, I'm not dependant on doing everything at the weekend. I can have a quiet day and do nothing if I want. COVID, and lockdown showed me I was pretty resilient and I'm happy to live alone.

I retired 10 months early, I've been retired now for five and a half years. I live alone so don't have a husband or partner.

I love it, you can be as busy or lazy as you want, I have friends I catch up with as most of us are now retired, I go to the garden centre a lot and spend quite a bit of time in my garden, I took up line dancing - I have to say it's much more energetic than I thought. Go to town when it's quieter and food shop on days when the world and his dog aren't there.

I don't know anyone who has regretted retiring, some have grandchildren that take up more of their time with childcare but all in all, we are glad we went and have no wish to go back to the work place. 😃

The first year or so was brilliant. This year, I had so many plans, started volunteering etc but DM has been ill and I am being sucked into caring for her. Not even the caring so much as she’s currently in hospital but there seems to be so much organization needed to get her house in a fit state, appointments with banks to sort out POA, speaking to social workers and medical staff and the bloody washing that the volunteering has gone by the wayside and the doctors are determined to book appointments in with me everytime I have a class booked.

Wooww that is early. I guess you planned financially earlier in your career?

You are still young OP and could find another partner if you wanted to.

I went at 57 and got a good exit package + immediate works pension which was index linked and quite generous. I am single no kids so it is a lot easier in some ways for me than others. I own my house and car, have no debts and can live very well now with State Pension added on. Life is very good and so far no major health issues, knock on wood.

I smile when I hear people ask what do you do, how do you fill your free time, do you get bored etc.

The whole thing about retirement is to STOP WORKING, that means pulling back from the endless run around and to rest, do nothing, and when you are ready to get back out there you will! Take at least a year of doing F all and be lazy, be indulgent, enjoy the freedom of being able to do nothing. Sometimes people are afraid of their own company, so you have to learn to love yourself and your own time.

After a year you will do things, if not before. I don't do all that much apart from travel a few times a year, explore my own neck of the woods, walk somewhere new once a week, spend far too long online, but I've learned loads, and see my family and friends a lot more than I could in the past. It's slow, it's easy, it's lovely. No pressure.