Pondering where to Retire

[wowzelcat]

hello everyone. I'm an American living in the UK, and retired recently due to a buyout scheme. My British husband still works (he is 60). We've just received quite a windfall due to his mum's passing, and now we have seven figures in cash, another paid off house, investments and our house which is mortgage free. It is quite a change.

I've recently applied for British citizenship. Whilst awaiting the outcome, I started thinking about our retirement. Basically for the couple decades I've lived and worked in the UK, I've only been back to the States twice; DH has been once for my dad's funeral. His family here had the priority, and we live where he grew up which is pretty countryside but extremely rurally isolated (no bus or train service...nearest village 5 miles away). We have no children. I've pretty much accommodated myself to his life plans, and was an equal partner economically...we both paid for the house, expenses, holidays. I always worked, and worked very hard. DH’s family now has all passed away, save one aunt.

If Kamala Harris wins the election, I've been thinking a bit about spending more time in the USA. I didn't before because it is expensive, and DH did not seem very keen to spend the money, and he doesn't like flying. I've even thought about retiring there...I know things have changed a lot since I was there, and probably not for the better. But, I am homesick and have been for a very long time. I'm also not really seeing the UK as economically as viable anymore, and well, I am weary of the anti-immigrant rhetoric. I've felt like an outsider for a very long time who has had to accommodate herself. DH really does not get this, as he has never had to deal with it. He did say he would consider it though, as he is curious about the States, and money is not a problem.

Has anyone moved from the UK to the USA to retire, and if so, what did you think of it?

Going home after a significant length of time living abroad is never really going home - it's a new abroad.

Whether it's right or wrong for you, I have no idea. But I'd strongly recommend an extended trial visit - perhaps rent a house for 6 months - before making a decision.

Yes, it would be a good idea to give it a trial run. There is that saying—you can never go home again. I’ve been subscribing to the NY Times, and realising I don’t get a lot of the cultural referents.

I am weary of the anti-immigrant rhetoric

Oh the irony of that coming from an American!

Oh the irony of you proving my point

With that kind of capital behind you, you could afford to experiment without burning bridges... Give it a go! See if the reality fills some of the holes you've been feeling.
After all, you've only got one life and your DH should give you the chance to try it on for size given how much your lives have centred around him to date!
It could be an adventure.
And where in the USA... So much choice there!
I know a couple who had similar situation (though not USA) and got a mobile home and toured around Europe to see where felt good, until they settled again.
They had an absolute blast!

I understand about wanting to go home because I think that’s a strong feeling in all of us. I hope your DH will be ok to make the move because I think most of us want to grow old and die where we think of as home. I’m not familiar with the US but I’d strongly suggest making sure not only to be there for an extended time but also to travel around. How you remember places won’t be like how they are now, obviously, but your priorities will have changed and so will the people. Personally, and this is narrow minded of me, I’d not want to be in a region that was very different politically from my own views. I think that might be more pronounced in the US? Where there are only 2 parties. Best wishes in sorting this out

Agree with the first pp though... Once you've been away as long as that, your original home had also moved on, but that doesn't mean you can't get to know another place and love it because of its echoes

Thanks. I just received approval for my British citizenship, so the travel process would be easier. At the least, it would be nice to spend some time in the States. I haven’t been back for seven years.

Yes, I think I would be very sad never to see ‘home’ again before I die. DH has a hard time understanding this because except for university and some holidays, he never has been away much from familiar surroundings. As I said above, my job choices and where we live have centred on his preferences and those of his mum. She was v. Elderly when she died, and needed us around for her care, which we both did. I had a decent career as an academic, but I couldn’t take advantage of opportunities in deference to family ties and obligations.

My 40th high school reunion was held recently, and I couldn’t go due to MIL’s funeral, and all the house clearing, paperwork, etc. I’m well aware people are very different, things have moved on….I hardly could recognise some of my old friends from the facebook pictures.

And, I would go to an area populated by Democrats…. Let’s just say where we live now has a Reform candidate, and I’m not keen. DH is not Reform, but people in the area are, and I have to keep my mouth shut when they start going on and on about immigrants, etc. That’s difficult.

As the arrival of my British passport is now imminent, and I’ll be a dual citizen, I thought about maybe a holiday home in the American West and spending the winter there. I’d get the sun, enjoy being in a familiar landscape and DH could come with on a tourist visa for three months, and we’d spend 9 months here. That might be a decent alternative. That way, if DH passes before me, I’ll go to the States. If I pass before him, he can sell the holiday home.

Thanks for giving me some things to think about.