No pension

[Summerpetal]

I’m 55 years old ,married 10 years ,together 35 years .
I’ve not worked in 25 years ,husband manipulated the situation to keep me a SAHM.but I didn’t know that ,untill he told me years later
then 2 of our children had special needs and I had to stay home with them as they didn’t go to school..lots of hospital appointments,and no one able to help care for them for me to work .
one will never live independently,the other possibly might.
husband has various pensions ,I have none ,as I never had the money for one.
so if we stay together I’m fine ,we own our home.
but ,I don’t want to stay with him.
if I insist on the house being sold so I can have half ,the 2 dc living at home with special needs will loose their home.
so even if I did that ,I’ve no pension to live of .
if it went to a solicitor would I get a portion of his pension ?
but I’ve no money for the divorce fees ,and no income and no job.
if I have the dc I can’t work
but equally if he has the dc he can’t work.
so we muddle through,but it’s massively effecting my mental health.
if I knew how much of the pension / for how long /and how much of the house I might get ,that could help me make plans
any ideas ??

Have you checked the gov website to see your pension forecast? The years in which you have claimed child benefit (family allowance) will be classed as contribution paid under home responsibilities protection. If your children have special needs this might be extended depending on their level of independence.
Sorry I can’t offer more/better advice but hopefully someone who can will be along soon.

NI contributions from child benefit stops when they're 12 apparently. Found this out last week when looking at my forecast. Have now 6 years to catch up on.

Are you claiming carers allowance or UC as you get NI contributions as a carer but that’s only for the basic state pension. The court will take into account future contribution ie care for and housing need of a disabled adult. You will need legal advice as the usual rules won’t necessarily apply where one parent is going to continue to provide care or a disabled child still needs housing. Joint assets will include the house and your husbands pension. options like shared ownership housing may be helpful. Are your children claiming eg DLA/PIP. Use a benefits calculator like entitledto or get advice from citizens advice. I dont understand why you have no income of your own as you should be getting carers allowance and disability benefits / child benefit.

All income goes in to the joint account,I get housekeeping,which has to pay for everything kids need ,birthdays Christmas,holidays and food for 6 people.
there’s never enough to put some aside for me

I bet you're entitled to some or maybe even half of his pensions. Take legal advice.

I do get carers allowance but it goes in to the joint account..which I haven’t got access to

His pensions will be classed as a marital asset and put in the pot, along with the house and any savings.
Id go and see a solicitor but yes, if you have been raising the children you will be entitled to a share of the pension fund. How much will be up for negotiation.

Find a solicitor local to you who works in family and/or divorce law and who will give you a "taster session" (they used to be about £20, I think). Take whatever you can in the way of bank statements, pension forecasts etc - yours, of course, but anything you can find of your husband's too. The solicitor will be able to advise you where you stand.

But the bottom line is - yes, if you're lacking a pension because you were the SAHP whilst your husband built up his pension, then you will be due a reasonable proportion of his pension if you divorce.

You are being financially abused.

So in reality it’s not a joint account. You’re being financyabused and need a good divorce lawyer.

You don't have access to your joint account?! This is serious financial abuse OP!

I would guess that in your circumstances you would have claim on his pension in the case of divorce. Your NI contributions will have been paid for all the years you claimed child benefit (until DCs were 12) and/or you claimed Carers Allowance - as long as the claims are in your name (which account it's paid into is irrelevant).

As PPs have said, you are being financially abused. I also gave up work due to 2 disabled DCs but I'm only 2 years short on full state pension contributions and I have always had full access to all income and expenditure. How you are being treated is not normal - although I did have a friend who was in the same position many years ago. She divorced him after 25 years of marriage.

The thing is, if you aren’t entitled to the full state pension because you didn’t have enough qualifying years and no other private pensions etc, then you’ll possibly be eligible for pension credit. This tops up your income and also can unlock other benefits too (assistance with rent, council tax etc).

The worst case is to have a full state pension only, or not but do have a very small additional income on top from a private pension which boosts your income, but you’re not then entitled to some other benefits due to that extra income. So you can actually be worse off than someone who is claiming pension credit to top up their state pension.

i mention this because if you receive part of your husbands pension as part of the settlement, but not a significant amount, you could fall into the gap of having less help overall at state pension age. It might be better to leave him with his pension and get increased house equity. As ever with these things, it’s always worth taking professional advice if you can. This post certainly isn’t it.

How do you mean you don't have access to the joint account? What happens if you walk into the bank with some photo ID and ask for a statement/to withdraw money from the account?

As per pp It's bad to "have a very small additional income on top from a private pension which boosts your income, but you’re not then entitled to some other benefits due to that extra income. So you can actually be worse off than someone who is claiming pension credit to top up their state pension."

This is very true. You just get an amount deducted from your housing benefit etc which is an admin headache with no real benefit.