is it in men's nature to cheat?

[singledomisgood]

Hi, i'm usually a lurker on here but the subject of cheating on your partner has cropped up a lot on here. It makes me very angry that anyone can do this to another person for whatever reason/excuse.

The lies, deceit, hurt, disruption etc that's involved could all be prevented if the cheater either tries to face the problems in the relationship or decides to end it in a MATURE manner!

Anyway, I decided to google why do partners cheat and it came up constantly that men (not much there on women) can't help themselves as they are biologically programmed to spread their seed with as many women as possible. Goes back our caveman days etc. Lots of men seem to hark back to this excuse.

well my argument is then surely WOMEN should be cheating just as much as men as we are programmed to find the best male to impregnate us from puberty to menopause. As the best male would be the fittest, youngest bestlooking one then we should be dumping any partner over about the age of 25! In fact, men over that age would be surplus to requirements as their 'seed' would not be of the highest quality! And that includes George Clooney and Brad Pitt!

I don't mean to trivialise affairs but it just makes me so angry that this is so often seen as a reason to cheat as if it's not in their control. Yet other aspects of our biology are not applied eg hunting (Asda should only be frequented by male shoppers doing the weekly hunt!).

I wish this argument could just be dropped and people would be honest about why they cheat ie the flattery, escapism, thrill, selfishness towards partner etc.

What do you think?

Yes, I was a bit puzzled by the "no such thing" observation too. And yes Fab I meant to be transparent because I frequently see posts from you, urging people to "get real" and look at these dating sites, as if intelligent people need to do that, to learn that many people find monogamy challenging. I therefore presume that you do look at these sites, albeit you say that you do so because you find them "funny".

Unlike you, I don't find sites like this funny. I find it bloody depressing that a business model based on sexual deceit exists for people who don't have the balls to negotiate an open relationship and don't want to extend the same freedoms to their partner.

And back to the original point, I agree with Orm that the "natural urge" argument is very often the last refuge for people who want an excuse to behave badly - and is trotted out by people who have found no difficulty whatsoever curbing other "natural urges" that existed for their ancestors.

I'd rather have my own money thanks and shag hot young men.

Honestly, that's where I'm at

Nothing against those with a prediliction for hot older men of course

Just added Joan Collins to my list of Women To Emulate. Go Joan!