Marriage over. I'm emotionally numb so I think I should concerntrate on the practicalities

[wanttobepractical]

DH has left not heard from him since and tbh not contacted him either as I'm not sure what I want to say. I know he'll get in touch eventually because of the children.

I feel very vulnerable financially so please if you can give me a list of all the practical things I should look into it would be so much appreciated. I'm SAHM, the mortgage is joint.

Go through as much paperwork as possible, making sure you know where all the important stuff is; if there are joint bank accounts it might be worth withdrawing half of the money from them (some men do clean out the bank account on leaving a marriage).
Consult a solicitor - lots give a free half=hour initial consultation - you want to be sure you know all your rights before your H gets in touch.
MOst importantly, take care of yourself: eat, sleep, call your friends and family for support. This is horrid but you will get through it.

Thank you SGB. I've gathered up a load of paperwork to look through later. I have got a little bit of money in my own account to keep us going in terms of food and stuff. So as long as he desn't decide to suddenly stop paing the mortgage we are ok for the moment.

I'm worrying long term. I won't be able to stay in the house which isn't the end of the world but I don't know how to make sure I can stay in this area so dc's can stay in school. Feel totally ridiculous knowing that I may not be able to take care of us financially.

As your not working you should qualify for legal aid. Would try to find a lawyer who deals with family law. Phone tax credits asap, will tell you there & then what you are due. Council tax, will qualify for single person discount at minimum, hopefully even full rebate. Citizens Advice give good advice and phone no's if you can get through.
Am 10 weeks further down the line than you agree tell some friends and family they will want to help. Good idea to focus on the practical things at this stage and try to eat well and sleep. Good luck.

Thank you emmcar. I'm going to sit down in a while a write a large list. I feel very cold hearted only focussing on the money but tbh I just want to know my dc are going to be taken care of. I'm so angry that they are not going to have a proper family life anymore

Your not being cold hearted, you have to provide for yourself and children as does your husband. Amazes me that some men able to walk away without checking the basics are being taken care off. You'll def feel empowered after making that call to tax credits, open weekends too. Have same worries as you about staying in house or area, sol should reassure you that ex cannot ask for sale at this stage. Would make a list of absolutely all your new outgoings before going to sol, include everything and all kids expenses. Also upset
that my ex has denied them the family life I assumed we would have but am trying to focus on the positives like the laid back atmosphere in my house now. Also some commforting comments on the lone parents threads.

Don't assume that you can't stay in the house. I've done lots of cases where the mum and children stay in the house until the youngest child is 18 then it's sold and the money divided (called a Mesher Order).

You should also contact your bank and ensure that any joint account can't get overdrawn, otherwise you're equally liable if he withdraws into overdraft.

SGB gives good advice.

H has returned and is currently sleepining spare room. We have not discussed anything. I can't ask him to leave he pays for everything and well he is still a good Dad and is doing his share in that department. Also I want to get myself sorted before we make any massive decisions so that I know where I stand.

So far I've gathered paperwork (although I've not got it in order to know what's what), squirelled a way a couple of grand and have a applied for a couple of jobs.