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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He has to see SW..and hes shi**ing himself

6 replies

Allalone0 · 05/07/2010 14:30

Some of u may remember i posted a few wks back abt how i 'felt like a failure'....as i am now a lone parent cos i suspected my dd was being abused by her father (my ex).

The update is that SS are involved again, new SW this time round had a meeting with her and dd.

Went on for along time, told her everything that has happened and what i have done in terms of 'protecting dd and getting her help..i.e.play therapy'

SW asked her if she wanted to give anyone a msg from dd...she said yes 'to tell daddy to stop hurting me.'

When asked what she meant by hurting?
DD said he punches and scratches her.
I have never witnessed him doing this..smacking yes but not scratching and punching.

SW took this down as disclosure, and has arranged to see him wednesday. i spoke to him sat. He sounded worried and how he 'wanted to speak to me first so as not to say the wrong thing'..in terms of whether he has contact or gives money.

I told him to say how it is. I have nothing to hide.
Anyway he is begginning to stash money away and claims that his wallet with numerous credit cards has "DISSAPPEARED"....how convenient.
I have a funny feeling that he may try to do a runner back to his home country.
He claims that he is saving up to get a 1 bedroom flat.

Should i be worried abt him doing a runner?
Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
ShinyAndNew · 05/07/2010 14:33

Sounds like he is planning to do a runner yes. But why is that such a bad thing? He will be far away from you and your poor dd. Which is where he needs to be.

Unless you think he is planning on taking her with him? In which case you need to contact SS and the police with your concerns.

Allalone0 · 05/07/2010 14:42

Yes i am in the middle of feeling it may well be a good thing if he is miles away from her where he definitely cannot hurt her, and she is 'safe'.

But i have 2 older boys 13 and 10.
I feel sad for them that he could just up and leave never to be seen again. And he doesn't give a damn abt how they will feel.

(Trying not to sound shallow) Or how we will cope financially as i was a stay at home mum and he was the sole earner. I dont want the kids to lose a roof over their heads, their home.

I was also worried that he may well try to take 1 or both of the boys with him.
So i have spoken to SW and told her, she will get back to me after having spoken to him.

OP posts:
NicknameTaken · 05/07/2010 14:49

Make sure you have your dc's passports. If you think abduction is an immediate risk, it's possible to get the police to put out a border alert. Lots of advice here: reunite

Allalone0 · 05/07/2010 16:07

Thanks for the site Nick..i will look into it.
I currently have all my Dc's passports.

I don't want to take any risks with him, he has always been unpredictable.

OP posts:
Allalone0 · 05/07/2010 16:07

Thanks for the site Nick..i will look into it.
I currently have all my Dc's passports.

I don't want to take any risks with him, he has always been unpredictable.

OP posts:
NicknameTaken · 05/07/2010 16:23

Yes, no point in taking a risk. Also, if you think there's a chance that he could apply for passports for them from his home country, you can request the embassy not to issue a passport. They don't have to comply, but they usually will. If their existing passports are British, and you think he might re-apply, claiming that their current passports are lost, you can also contact the Passport office. Contact details on the website.

Hopefully this is all unnecessary worry, but if you are concerned, it's helpful to know that there are actions you can take.

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