Strategies for coping with tedium in long term relationships that have become friendships rather than anything else

[arabella2]

Following on from my bored bored bored thread, have had the night to think about things and of course my kids have to be my priority since I do think my relationship with dh (though there are quite big things I don't like about him) is "workable".... so any tips to make life more exciting? Thanks

Gardening or similar very time consuming hobby and a vibrator.

You are very brave and selfless.

My Dh was my friend and nothing much else. I left him and now he is still my friend and we are still bringing up our DS together. We talk every day and share custody. We sometimes go out for meals together and we still have the same friends so go out together sometimes, but I am free to be myself and have more compatible relationships with other people (in theory - so far I have just had some ill-advised flings).

In short, I don't know how to make that kind of relationship more interesting because I failed to. Good luck, though!

Actually I have to rephrase some of my message - I actually really don't like dh at weekends because he becomes very critical - have already had three pieces of criticism (one laced with sarcasm) directed at me before 9 o'clock - all the while he is being super affectionate to kids... Then I kind of lose the will to sort out all the things that need sorting out (chaotic house) as I am so annoyed by how he thinks he can criticise at the drop of a hat...
lifeissweet it sounds as if you get on really well with your exdh - that's really great - the thing about dh and I is that it's almost as if we don't get on well enough to be divorced (that's how it feels at weekends anyway) because in a sense you would have to reach more agreements if you were co-parenting separately than if you life together (odd isn't it) - the other thing is that I don't know if I could bare to lose all the things I would lose if we were divorced

sorry, meant "bear"

H there Arabella

I think the house seems to be a real bone of contention here, you have mentioned this in both threads.

Why dont you want to sort it out? What iws stopping you from doing this? If this causes arguments and negativity between you, why wouldnt you want to resolve this, at the least?

I have to say, I have lived in chaotically messy shared houses and it is very stressful. I am no anthea turner by any means, but I know where everything is, the place is passably clean and junk is minimised. Is it too big a job to do alone?

I also noted that you don't have a lot of "you things" do you have friends you can go out with?

Love from 1foot