I'm asking for trouble with this one, but come and tell me what you think please.
Last night DH and I were bickering about something. In the end, I agreed to change my plans but I was feeling aggrieved at him telling me what to do. I was using the PC at the time. So after he'd walked away I decided to search on the words "controlling relationship". I found this webpage from the US where a relationship psychologist had written a sort of questionnaire about people who are abusive in relationships. It said if your partner does one of these things, be careful, if its 2 or 3, think about leaving. If more than 3 then get out now because you will be emotionally and possibly physically abused.
To cut a long story short, I'd only got to the fourth point when I realised it was describing me not DH. It was written for women to identify abusive men, but in the end it better described me, the woman, than it described DH.
It was horrible. I didn't hit every point but I did come up on a lot of them all of it stuff I have done that i am not proud of.
DH's parting words to me as he left the room after the argument were: "It's not fair of you to say I have a problem. I don't. I am really a very easy going person". After reading the website, I realised he was telling the truth and I am horrified to realise that I am a serious danger to DH.
I felt like emailing the author to say "I do a lot of those things, but I don't mean to be an abuser. What you say is my motivation for doing them, well it isn't, or at least not consciously".
I told DH what I had read. He said these sort of surveys are too vague to be taken at face value. He said I was just a bit demanding which was very generous of him. So please tell me what I can do to stop this? I don't want to be such a horrible person and I don't want to hurt DH, or give him low self-esteem and depression (which the article says I will end up doing).