Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone good with the computer savvy spying stuff?

12 replies

DetectiveWifey · 02/07/2010 11:03

Sorry for the name change but it is for obvious reasons.
A while ago, DH and I had a huge row about his "secret" internet activity. He used to have a password on his account so never bothered deleting history so the odd occasion I got on it (when he accidently left it logged on) I came across allsorts from hardcore porn, gambling sites and secret messages to a woman on facebook. He denied it all of course but this is not the first time he'd lied and acted "dodgy" so I never believed him anyway. In the end he agreed to take the password off his profile so I could see what he was upto. (To "prove" he wasn't "Upto" anything. )
So this went well for a while, I went on his profile every now and again, the history was crystal clean, I worked out his password to facebook and had the odd nosy on there and that all seemed above board so after a bit I stopped checking on it so much.
Then one day, I got the urge to glance at his history when he'd left me on his profile looking on ebay. All clean apart from a google entry where he has searched for a porn site. This got me suspicious about everything else because he told me he didn't know how to delete history but from here, it looked like he must have done! He'd blatently been looking at porn yet there was no history of it.
So I checked his temp internet files and saw that they had been completely cleared. Why would he clear the temp files if he had nothing to hide???
So I downloaded a file that lets you bring up DELETED internet history. Its amazing, it tells you everything from what sites have been accessed, what time, date, everything.
So looking through the DELETED internet history I found that he had indeed gone back to the porn and had been on facebook (despite it being wiped from the history, why delete it if it was innocent?) and had been sending and receiving messages. He's also changed his facebook password all of a sudden. Something to do with that woman again??? why else would he do it?
Anyway there wasn't that much to go on so I played with this program and saw that it also kept a record of sites visited in PRIVATE mode (IE has a setting which lets you browse the web without leaving a trail of history/cookies/evidence behind you). In here was more facebooks, more porn sites etc.

Also, I have the password to his email address (he doesn't know this) and although he has been getting private messages on facebook, he's no longer being notified through hotmail like he used to be.

So in a nutshell - He's still doing dodgy stuff on the net and has no idea that I can see what he's upto. He's living in ignorent bliss thinking he's getting away with it all. I've not mentioned it to him yet, I'm having too much fun watching him make a fool of himself. Childish maybe but I'm sick to death of being lied to and treated like a mug.
But, one thing that is puzzling me - this morning he went online on HIS profile and logged into his bank. Logged back out. This was not in private mode. Yet when I checked the history there was no sign of that visit. How? he hasn't set IE to delete history on exit or anything like that so how has he managed that??

Lastly, anyone else know of any good tricks in catching someone out online? I'm worried he will inevitably change all his passwords and I'll be locked out of everything.

OP posts:
cheerfulvicky · 02/07/2010 11:08

I think what everyone is going to tell you is to back slowly away from the internet spyware. Sit down alone. And have a think.

This man is obviously up to no good - you have hard evidence of this. Why are you still with him? And why are you channeling all of this energy into tracking his movements when that's not even the point anymore? Knowing everything he does or has done isn't going to stop him from being a total knob. Revealing to him that you know about EVERYTHING he has ever done is not going to stop him from being a total knob. Nothing is, because he is obviously like that.

So back away from the computer, realize that you already have evidence enough to make a decision and work out what you are going to do about all of this. That's the real puzzle. Although if I were in your shoes, the answer would be crystal clear.

DetectiveWifey · 02/07/2010 11:11

I am leaving him. I have already made my decision on that. But when I go I want as much evidence as possible against him. Plus, it's kinda become addictive

OP posts:
bananalover · 02/07/2010 20:46

You need to download a keylogger so you can see all his keystrokes and sites he's been on. They are invisible and run in the background so he won't know it's there.

Hope that helps.

SugarMousePink · 02/07/2010 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

verytellytubby · 02/07/2010 21:52

My friend installed a keylogger and caught his girlfriend having an affair. You can set it up and it can text you every 30 minutes what they've been up to.

Good luck.

secunda · 02/07/2010 21:54

I would say either you don't trust him and that's a dealbreaker...or it's not. Decide which it is - that's the real issue, not buggering about with spyware. You say this: 'I'm having too much fun watching him make a fool of himself. Childish maybe but I'm sick to death of being lied to and treated like a mug.' which makes me think that what he's actually doing is irrelevant, you're 'off' him anyway. And yes I think you can set it to store no history.

secunda · 02/07/2010 21:55

Oh you're leaving him. Well, you don't need 'evidence' you can just get divorced. Proof of xyz doesn't get you a better deal AFAIK. So what's the point?

pluperfect · 02/07/2010 22:06

If you don't have a printer, you can install cute pdf, which will allow you to "print" to a pdf file (Adobe Acrobat file). This will allow you to store these pages that he has been visiting (maybe stick to the ones which have his password on them, or he might accuse you of going to the sites yourself and then printing them).

www.cutepdf.com/products/cutepdf/writer.asp

Remember to delete your own internet history, if you are worried.

monkey9237 · 03/07/2010 22:11

If it helps, I downloaded a keylogger from/called REFOG (Google it - I cant remember the URL) and there was a pay version and a less-fancy free version available, but there was an option to buy an item or a service eg 50 businesscards, 3 video rentals etc, for about £10 and that would get you the fancy pay version ("usually" about £40) for free.

It was so easy to install and logs all webpages visited (snapshots), all keystrokes typed (including passwords), all messaging services used, and lots more. Totally invisible and cannot be picked up by virus scanners etc. I am really impressed. I first read about it here on MN!

(and pleased that I have found nothing suspicious since installing it - my husband had an affair last year and I wanted to make sure it was truly all over)

ivykaty44 · 03/07/2010 22:18

secunda has it - you want to leave, then leave as you don't need evidence of what he has been up to on the internet - unless he has been looking at child pron then its really not worth the hassle or daness to you. if you seek legal advice they aren't going to be to happy thatyou are snopping on him as it could look bad on them if his solicitor says soemthing.

get out with your head held high and leave him to his stupiditiy lies and let him wallow in them as no one else willreally believe him

lazydog · 04/07/2010 08:23

monkey9237

Sorry to butt-in on this relationships thread, but the geeky title drew my attention. You commented "Totally invisible and cannot be picked up by virus scanners etc" while referring to ReFog. I just wanted to warn you - don't believe their hype! This particular keylogger is immediately picked up and flagged by many mainstream anti-malware/anti-spyware applications.

monkey9237 · 04/07/2010 11:31

Hi lazydog, oops! Thanks for that. I thought it was invisible because it hadnt been picked up by our virus scanner.

Sorry again and back to the thread...!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread