So come and tell me what's so great about being low maintenance

[OrmRenewed]

"You are the only thing
In any room
You're ever in"

Courtesy of Elbow - Starlings

I am a coper, a low-maintenance, just-get-on-with-it sort of woman, I am not beautiful, sometimes I struggle to manage 'homely' TBH. A Martha not a Mary. I have never been given a diamond ring or any expensive jewellery. My skills lie in juggling and managing and making things work - use not ornament. Which mostly is as I wish it to be.

But sometimes,I think it would be nice to be the sort of person the above is said to or even thought about. I wonder how life would have been if I had been born beautiful and not just clever and capable.

Anyone know what I mean?

"Blokes should be above having others buy them expensive trinkets, but sadly some aren't. "

But not women?

women should be above it too

there's nothing worse than some grasping cow whining because she didn't get a big enough rock

Phrases like low-maintenance and high-maintenance have always grated a bit with me. I'm not a car, I do not stay the same day in and day out. And I can look after myself - I don't need to be 'maintained'.

Having said that, obviously I realise it's shorthand for a lot of more detailed explanation.

In answer to the original question, I think it's about whether you like yourself overall - can look in the mirror and feel friendly towards the person you see there. That is, to my mind, the starting point of feeling contented in all sorts of other ways as well. And as long as you like yourself and like being you in your life, there's nothing wrong with a bit of curiosity about what it would be like to have people fall off their bikes to take a second look at you.

But for what it's worth, for my job I have recently had a lot of involvement with something that revolves around some 'high maintenance' stars. It's been really interesting to be a (lowly!) part of it and see what goes on. But all the preening and primping and fussing and screaming and never being alone for a nanosecond - however beautiful/rich/famous they are, I hand on heart wouldn't swap my little snippet of Dartmoor life for all the tea in China.

Message withdrawn

Undertone - being a "well-groomed" man could also indicate a good approach to time-management and an ability to multi-task... so quite the opposite of what you say

hey at least I'm clever

Good plan morko!

I have been considering this and I am 100% sure I don't have low self-esteem. I like myself and quite enjoy being me. But I think my whinge is about being categorised by everyone else as the practical sort, rather than the beautiful unreliable sort who doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to use .

This thread has reminded me that someone once called me "resilient".

I thought it was a great compliment at the time.

Only in recent years I've come to realise maybe it actually means low maintenance and a bloody doormat!

.....weak grin emoticon....

My grandfather once referred to me as "raisonnable" (he was French) which is almost equivalent to "sensible". I was mortally offended as I was teenager at hte time and couldn't have imagined a worse insult.

I'm quite proud now though, as I know that it was intended as a huge compliment

Orm - why wouldn't you rather be considered beautiful, mysterious AND capable?

"why wouldn't you rather be considered beautiful, mysterious AND capable"

I don't know. It's the word 'capable' that bothers me. It just hints at marigolds and mop buckets and is quite incompatible with delicate But hey, I've got child-bearing hips and scrubbers hands so I may just have to get on with it.

Why do you have to be one or the other? Can you not be both a coper/organiser and high maintenance?

If you are attractive, does that automatically mean high maintenance?

I feel a little cross at this thread, I take a pride in my appearance, am often complimented but am also a very organised efficient wife and mother. Why can't you be both?

And I'm great in bed .

Well good for you housewife - but I am not! I am just musing aloud on whether it might be nicer to be the one rather than the other. And I fall definitely into the 'capable and not beautiful' camp. No choice in the matter.

Not sure why you would get cross about this thead is beyond me.

Not cross at your musings Orm, but at some of the generalisations.

Btw you can in the beautiful high maintenance camp on a temporary basis and give it a try - as someone said earlier it's mostly about confidence. Waft about for a bit imagining you are Nicole Kidman/Cheryl Cole or whoever and sure enough you give off the vibe.

"Can you not be both a coper/organiser and high maintenance?" Yep, you can. I personally am bloody high maintenance and worth it

I am definitely capable, reasonably atractive, confident and low maintenance most of the time, but I don't think DH appreciates how lucky he is

To my shame, i am THE bottom of the pile in terms of importance in our house.

Its not a great place to be.

I have kinda got lost along the way, and it has become habit now for me to not be important.

I will go to a clothes shop....and automatically without thinking about it, head straight to the kids section for clothes for ds.

Birthday gift vouchers i spent on a new school coat for him.

Food shopping i trawl the isles picking up stuff for dh & ds,
i just never cross my mind.

But then even as a young lass i was fecking gorgeous, but even then i was happy with the simple things in life.
A treat to me, is choosing a nice shampoo or deoderant (not the cheepest or Asda's own)

Funny isnt it, i need to do a bit more for me occasionally.

tightwad - that was me a few years back but I was happy that way. Now we have more money to spend and I'm spending a bit more on me.

It's nice to put others first but not always

ORM its not as if i have money problems i dont!! I could go out and spend on myself but i have fallen into a habitual hole.

am at weight watchers at the mo...wieght loss always brings self confidence so when i have a stone off, gonna go and get me some new clobber