where does it say that women are more at risk when they try to leave violent relationships?

[LowLevelWhinging]

I can't think of what to search. It appears to be received wisdom - and common sense - but I can't find the stats/research/evidence that backs it up.

Anyone know?

Post-separation violence:

76% of separated women reported suffering post-separation violence (Humphreys & Thiara, 2002). Of these women:

• 76% were subjected to continued verbal and emotional abuse.
• 41% were subjected to serious threats towards themselves or their children.
• 23% were subjected to physical violence.
• 6% were subjected to sexual violence.
• 36% stated that this violence was ongoing.

from Womens Aid

Aah, "post-separation abuse".

thank you Lewisfan. I couldn't think of what phrase to search.

that page also says

"Risk of homicide: Women are at greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner. (Lees, 2000)."

ugh. grim.

thank you

Violence Escalates with Separation
According to the report, Domestic Homicide, by Saunders & Browne, leaving a batterer challenges the control he exercises and he is most dangerous after a separation. He may retaliate against his spouse with threats, greater violence, and even murder.
physical-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/why_does_a_woman_stay_in_a_violent_relationship

According to Gavin DeBecker, author of The Gift of Fear, (New York: Random House. 1997), 75% of murders of spouses are committed after the woman leaves. It is separation, not conflict that causes the most severe violence

Read more at Suite101: Why Does a Woman Stay in a Violent Relationship?: The Very Real Risks of Leaving a Batterer physical-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/why_does_a_woman_stay_in_a_violent_relationship#ixzz0sNTqIpX 1

references listed -

References
DeBecker, Gavin. The Gift of Fear. New York: Random House. 1997

Hart, Barbara. Remarks to the Task Force on Child Abuse and Neglect, April 1992

Morrill, Allison C.; Dai, Jianyu; Dunn, Samantha; Sung, Iyue and Smith, Kevin. Violence Against Women, Vol.11 No. 8, August 2005.

Saunders, D.G. & Browne, A. In R.T. Ammerman & M. Hersen (Eds.), Case studies in family violence. New York: Plenum. 1991.

Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Justice, NCJ 169592, Stalking in America: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.

(Stark, E. and Flitcraft, A. Women and children at risk: A feminist perspective on child abuse. International Journal of Health Services, 18 (1), 97-118. 1988.

Thomas, Tracy, Director of Development at HAVEN (Help Against Violent Encounters Now) in Oakland County, Michigan. Phone Conversation. 2009.

see also:

this article references
Bergen, R. Wife Rape: Understanding the Response of Survivors and Service Providers, Sage Publications, California, 1996

www.aphroditewounded.org/leave.html

the risk of rape or even homicide increases as a woman is leaving or after she has left. (1)

see also www.lundybancroft.com/art_danger_men.htmle.She is taking steps to end the relationship, or has already done so.

see also the article on Assessing Risk to Children from Batterers
www.lundybancroft.com/art_risk_children.html which discusses post separation risk to children

Once a survivor has made a decision to leave, she/he is potentially in the greatest amount of danger. Given that the batterer may be experiencing a loss of control, he/she may resort to new and potentially more lethal forms of violence. Therefore, it is crucial that the survivor's level of risk is reassessed continuously, a strategy for leaving safely is outlined, and supports are in place prior to leaving.
www.simmons.edu/ssw/dvtraining/training/04/05.html

Women are at highest risk of injury or violence when they are separating from or divorcing a partner
www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/studyg/domestic.html

Facts:

?The risk of domestic violence increases at the time of separation.
www.xyonline.net/content/fact-sheet-2-myth-women%E2%80%99s-false-accusations-domestic-violence-and-m isuse-protection-orders

In fact, the period during which a woman is planning or making her exit, is often the most dangerous time for her and her children.
www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1277

this sort of relevant
www.springerlink.com/content/g16775307887813j/The Process of Leaving an Abusive Relationship: The Role of Risk Assessments and Decision-Certainty
Journal Journal of Family Violence
Publisher Springer Netherlands
ISSN 0885-7482 beginoftheskypehighlighting 0885-7482 endoftheskypehighlighting (Print) 1573-2851 (Online)
Issue Volume 15, Number 2 / June, 2000
DOI 10.1023/A:1007515514298
Pages 109-122
Subject Collection Behavioral Science
SpringerLink Date Friday, October 29, 2004

Hi Low Level

Lundy Bancroft in his book "Why Does he do that - inside the mind of angry and controlling men" says the following about an abusers' behaviour when a woman tries to leave:-

"Each abuser uses a different mix of tactics and some let go more easily than others".....

"He knows he used to be able to control you with charm, affection and promises. He also remembers how well intimidation or aggression worked at other times. Now both of these tools are losing their effectiveness, so he tries to increase the voltages. He may switch erratically back and forth between the two..."

Lundy Bancroft also urges abused women to trust their own instincts. If they believe the abuser may turn more violent on leaving, then they are probably right.

LowLevelWhinging are you in this situation and are you OK? Or are you asking for a friend? There are many of us here who have been in this situation and might be able to help so do ask if you need it.

Leaving an abuser is not easy but often the hardest part is recognising the abuse for what it is and getting oneself out of denial sufficiently to get the strength to leave.

I hope this helps
X

that is really scary, makes me so for so many women and children

my exP had displayed minor pushing/shoving etc over years but it wa mostly emptional /verbal control, manipulation - when he first actually atacked me physically in 2007 he was in throes of very real mental health breakdown (not that it justifies but he appeared truly psychotic and unaware of what he was doing...tho with hindsight i do wonder ...)

it was later when he realised i really did not want him back (he had gone away to "recover")that i would not be with him it was then that he became truly phsyically intimidating using his strength to push, shove, corner me, etc - i feared him more physically after separation - bearing out the statistics...

No, Digitalis, I'm currently working with women who are leaving/have left. I need to know how to approach the subject I suppose.

I know the advice that my agency (not women's aid) offers, FEELS RIGHT, but I'm looking for evidence.

I want to be able to point women here but it's not for everyone is it?

thank you cestlavie, it seems to be a common theme unfortunately.

I divorced 5 years ago from my exh.

He threatened to put a glass in my face and I called the police and had him removed. For the last time.

He was still verbally abusing me until last year when he also felt he still had some right to physically push me around as well.

This used to happen at handover time with the boys.

I think once someone has spent so long abusing you and bullying you they will never be any different towards you. The will always think they have that right.

People like that don't change do they.

do you not trust the agency advice then?

It's really important to know this. When we ask other posters to go easy on a woman who's just realised she is being seriously abused, there are two factors in play: firstly, the utter shock she is in (her entire reality has just been shown to be abnormal) and, secondly, the fact that her new awareness automatically increases the danger to her & her children.

It's absolute crap for her: to achieve safety and to have a chance of normality, she must find more courage than most ordinary people ever need in their lifetime. She must do everything we ordinarily find reprehensible: lie, steal, dissemble and run away. In order to understand that this is good advice in her circumstances, she has to get that she's in the equivalent of a combat situation.

It is SO hard; I am in awe of the many women, here, who've done it.

The risk is very real indeed. It's one of the good reasons why people don't "just leave".

Thanks for these posts. I have a younger colleague in this position. She is bright, funny and itelligent. Its so hard for us who have been around the block to comprehend why she cant just do a runner, she has no financial ties to him (appart from him stealing from her). He has threatened to physically harm her family if she goes and she believes this to be true. Its awful for her and difficult for us to sit back and watch. Shes in a no-win situation. Also twice she has had the chance to go and we were so pleased for her but the very next day she was pleading with him to take her back. Its so bloody scary. All we can do is be there for her. It must be terrible.

Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate all your help.

Lewisfan, it's not that I don't trust the advice - on the contrary, it makes absolute sense. But I have to write about it - evidence-based practice and all that.

Dolly, abuse at handover time seems to be common too.

Grace, thank you, that's a very helpful explanation for me, and no doubt others too.

Cestlavie I've had chance to read through your links now and they were really helpful. Thanks again.