dating advice .... yet again!

[toohonest]

I need dating advice, and you have probably been asked things like this before, but I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Also I have namechanged for this.

Back story is my H left for OW last year and I've had a tough time coming to terms with it all and dealing with the fallout with DC and other family members. Still sorting out the finances as well

About 6 months ago, maybe too soon, I signed up to dating website but pulled my profile after a few weeks as I got cold feet.

Had an 'almost' ONS in February and a ONS with a guy I already know in May. So feel I am ready for dating, obviously.

So re-instated dating site profile about two weeks ago, and I've had on average 5 winks a day plus e=mails. Good results, I think, but...

Most of the men are too old or 'not my type,' to be nice about it, so I haven't replied to them. However, one caught my eye. Not especially good looking but profile read well, so I replied.

After messaging for two days, not long I know, I arranged to meet him. We met in town, had a walk in the park and went to a pub. He was good company and we got on well.

I tried to be cautious when discussing things and answering questions but I am very honest and straight forward and worry now that I gave too much away. Especially as I have read previous threads on here warning of the dangers, which all make common sense, and reading your dating horror stories.

He has been quite keen, well to me he is, texting and e-mailing each day since we met. I have told him I don't expect this, I am not a needy nor clingy person and like my space. But some have suggested that guys who are full on like this after one date are either desperate or nutters and to be careful. Am I worrying over nothing or should I let it ride and see what happens?

Also I am considering pulling my profile again as I don't feel easy about it as I would prefer to meet people in RL, but to be honest I'm not having much luck despite a good social life.

Do you think I'm expecting too much too soon?

I hope all of this makes sense.

he doesn't have to be desperate or a nutter he is probably just keen
unless you have doubts about anything in particular?

Not really, maybe I just read too much into things.

But I guess I'm not too comfortable with the online dating thing either.

I would like to meet someone though to have some fun with, good company etc.

It just doesn't seem to be happening.

look online and rl are not soo different
there is this percevied stigma that online dating is somehow mysterious and dangerous
it really is not, it is just as dull and disappointing as rl dating lol
I looked at online dating because I never go out where I would meet single men, and I wanted to meet one
I was on match about a month, met someone I spent about 18 months with, then got a bit bored/dissatisfied like i tend to with most relationships
I wouldn't divide the online dating off as a special category
you are just meeting people
this chap sounds very pleasant, if you enjoy his company spend a bit more time getting to know him and don't worry so much!

ninah thanks, I had thought that too.

There is another thread on here just now the 'red flag'one. this is what I'm talking about, maybe I read too much into things and dwell on other posters bad experiences.

please do what you feel at the time, try to relax and have some fun with it

it's nice to show that you are interested and it's dreadful to act cool when you aren't

lots of people would feel very apprehensive but try to keep open to this as an experience
try not to listen to everything negative that your friends and family say

consider more options than you usually would, you never know who is hotter fitter brighter in rl so don't discount someone off hand from the beginning

but the red flag situ is v different to yours, the op also posted about it on the lone parents' fit and interesting thread (plenty of dating experiences on there esp the earlier ones) - in this case the chap was hassling her unreasonably when she did not reply to his text immediately!
I know the feeling of expecting dating to be bad, it can be a hangover from your last relationship and I imagine if your h left for ow (mine relationship broke up over this too) it is v hard to trust again, and not to be scared of being hurt
but we have to believe there are good people out there
several posters on the fit thread have found caring loving partners, maybe kissing a few frogs lol
my dating advice would be know your own mind and what you are looking for, keep initial dates fun without investing too much emotional energy, just enjoy getting to know another person and be willing to trust them as a friend. See what happens!

thanks for the advice i will look on the other thread