Seeing my mum first time after 8 years....

[jaabaar]

Hi

Didnt know where to post this.

Will pick up my mum from airport tomorrow. 8 Years have passed since we last met. She is now 75. I gave birth to my first DD 5 months ago.

I just feel so anxious and terribly but terribly sad. Dont know why I post this here.

Sorry if it is in the wrong place. Just had to write it down somewhere.

How/why has it been so long?

I didn't see or speak to my mum for five years and the first time after that was when my first child was 5 weeks old. If there is any advice I can give just let me know. Or even if it's moral support.

IF you are picking her up in the car then at least you can concentrate on the road and maybe make small talk whilst driving if you are thinking it is going to be awkward?

Have you been in contact during the 8 years? I didn't have any, a family rift type thing.

My mum couldnt leave to visit me in the uk because she is looking after her sister who has alzheimer (24 hour job). Me I didnt go because of fear of flying.

We talk every day.

She has only me, I am an only child. She has no partner/husband.

My auncle is very upset that she came becuase they had to put my aunty in an old people's home for 2 months. He said work is there and not with your daughter. And why is she going.

I think meeting a grandchild and seeing your own only child after 8 years is reason enough.

I dont know I feel so terrible. I cant think. I cant do anything. Didnt even play with my DD today, just looked after her.

Every small think like picking up a glass is overwhealming.

Sorry for going on.

thank you for your messages.

I think you are sad because seeing her is going to bring home to you how much you have missed her and how long it has been and maybe anxious becasue you are already anticpating how hard it will be to say goodbye at the end of the visit.

But try not to feel sad - you must both enjoy this time - she has obviously taken a stand and come to see you both so let's not put a downer on it, eh?

Why can't someone else look after your aunt? Surely your mum has done a fair old stint at it?

Msboogie:
Very true what you are saying. It was very VERY difficult for her to come. But she did.

Only my mum looks after her as they live together in the same house together with two uncles. Her other sisters live nearby but have their own families. It is VERY hard on her. I want to treat as a queen when she is here.

I am just sad because I did not do more for her. I feel sorry for the difficult life that she had and the little joys. Even me I had to be so far away.

It just overwhelms me. And to see her aged..... times passed.....

thanks again.

Your uncle is being unreasonable, it is absolutely right that your mother is coming to see you and meet her grandchild. You will have an amazing time together and very many happy memories will be made.

There is so much that you can do regarding your fear of flying you know, I don't know if you have tried anything yet but there is an amazing book you can read which will totally change your thoughts and fears. Also flying with a small child is not as hard work as you imagine (I fly with a 1 and a 2 year old), it is an exciting experience for them to be at the airport and see the planes etc. If you are interested I can find the details of the book that has helped me regarding flying. Even if you just tried to go maybe once a year it would make you feel so much better about things.

Maybe I also worry that from never seeing each other we are together every day for over 2 months 24 hours.

I dont know

Herecomesthesun: Nice name!

Oh yes please, I would like to try and read that book! Whatever helps. I am planning to go once year from next year....

You will have an amazing time seeing her for two months, just imagine how much she will see as your daughter grows and changes over that time. You will love every minute of it.

I'll find the details of the book and let you know shortly xx

Herecomesthesun:
Thank you very much.
Yeah you are right, didnt think of all the changes she will see! That is a happy thought. Thank you for bothering to check for the book, you are very kind.