Horrific divorce with psychotic ex husband

[redeemthepathgirl]

Hi to all..my first post ever.
Very bad divorce with soon to be ex..he is fleecing me money wise and a real bully thru law and in life. 2 kids one with mild autims and he wants a joint residence order but has not much contact..any tips or views? Am slowly drowning in this.tx

can you be more specific?
eg - does he have a medical diagnosis of psychosis? has he demonstrated medically psychotic behaviour? have medical/health profressionals social services been involved?

in which case you can get support from social services etc?

have you been to court and ahd CAFCASS involved?
do you have a solicitor?

has he actually field for residency?
where are you living now - has he moved out?

filed ie at court - do you have a hearing date -

not field

Hi

Court dates for kids and money in Sep..tho we have mediation..bleeding me dry money wise

does he not pay maintenence?

How is he bleeding you dry money-wise?

How old are your children??

Have you been documenting incidences, contact, phone calls, texts etc?? If not, start.

Have you got a solicitor?? Make sure it's a good one.

Yes do get v small maintenace amount and document everything. Kids are 10 and 12.Bleeds me by forcing all to court and he has big salary.it is emotional and financial abuse. kids are suffering at school and not eating.Writes lots of legal letters racking up bills on small issues. brief is ok he is just bully.

dunno - your title said he was phychotic...which has clear medical definition - now you say he is "just bully" - isnt v clear really...

if he wants to spend money on letters let him... collate and get solicitor to repsond.

but you need to address the children - why arent they eating?

surely financial matters between you are between the adults - nothing to do with the dcs?

what is it that is affecting the dcs exactly? i dont really understand.... how does his court etc issues direclty affect the dcs? what happens when they see him?

have you sought advice from psychologist/counsellor for the children?

I am going through very similar. I imagine that the issue with his letter writing, cestlavie is that the letters have to be responded to. My ex's solicitors write bullying and inaccurate letters, which must be replied to. As each party pays their own costs, then this is incredibly financially draining (as well as emotionally draining). Therefore the intention is to make my money run out so that I can't fight the court case, as he has access to the family/business funds.

The only advice that I can give is to try to remain calm, don't rise to issues that don't require a response and stay focused on those that do. Do what you are supposed to do and don't do anything that you're not. Even though it's very emotive, try not to get embroiled in tit for tat as it doesn't actually progress the situation, and runs up extra bills.

It's very difficult to keep it totally from the children as it's an incredibly stressful situation, but it's the only thing to do-they need to feel as secure as possible. I just try to remember that one day, all this shall pass and I can then get on with enjoying the rest of my life (much poorer, admittedly!!).

Have you got people that you can off load on in RL? Have you thought about contacting children's services for possible counselling for the children? Are you happy that you're getting good advice from your solicitor?

Sorry that you're going through this and I hope things get better for you.

i dont know - do you HAVE to respond to solicitor letter? unless there is threat of legal action if you dont - but then you can jsut let it go to court and save all money for that.... it they truly petty then ignore and let it go to court... ?

my ex half the time doesnt respond to my solicitors letters (she doesnt send that many btw, only truly important stuff like "please advise your proposals for adddressing the financial separation to avoid having to take it to court" -
offering him a way out of court case... he choses to ignore and tehrfore end up in court hearing....otherwise - it would never get addressed. and current situaiton is bleeding me dry financially...

i do get it...it is draining...if you have a solicitor let them reply.

what is more of concern is impact this is having on childrena dn what can OP do ab out that? what support is she getting to deal with it emotionally eg counsellor? what support are children getting?
why do tehy feel so "in the middle2 if this is the issue? what contact are they ahving with the dad? is it the contact that is going bad? is eh bullying them?

so much isnt said is hard to know... and whether the ex has a psychosis diagnosis MH or is abusive per se? if has MH issues then court can ask for that to be assessed...

Hi..I think he has psychotic episodes due to personality disorder( not diagnosed), bully bheaviour and at times decompensates i.e. shows no awareness of adults or kids around him. Kids are affected as stuck between 2 people they love but afraid of him not me. When it goes to court re kids yep will insist
on psyc assessment and maybe u r right NO rreplies to letters unless essential. Abuse is direct ( breaking their toys) and indirect ( badmouthing mum, my sister and mates so they don't respect boundaries). They are used to him shouting. I got them family therapy referral from nice Gp..
yes have to be calm..ex has history of anger pprobs and there are a few witness statments..