Would you fall for your partner now as you did, say for example, 17 years ago?

[drivinmecrazy]

I realised at the week end that if I met DH now, 17 years after we got together, don't think I would give him a 2nd look. Used to love the talking we did, the social life we shared. Now 'my' friends are an irritation to him (can barely even be polite enough to stay awake sometimes), his friends are an anathema to me (have nothing in common with them), and the kids are merely an annoyance to him most of the time.

WTF happened to my alive, spontaneous, frivolous man I met all those years ago, the man who wanted to be the Dad to his kids his Father never was?? When did the Grumpy Old Men steal his thunder???

No (weirdly enough, we have been married 17 yrs)

yes, i think i would. he still has the same qualities that attracted me in the first place. we've been together for 22 years. he can be very grumpy sometimes, but then, he carries a lot more on his shoulders than he did when we first got together.

We've been married 17 years next week - though together for 25.

Mine has turned into a boring old man - thoough he's still caring, kind and considerate and occasionally shows the dry sense of humour I used to love.

He's also a loving dad but I don't suppose I'd look twice these days.

Yes, the things that have changed about him we have grown together with. A lot is still the same though, same physical and intellectual attraction. Still laugh a lot, still having the same arguements though! (And we have never liked each others friends).

Yes. She drives me crazy sometimes, but she's immensely attractive, bright, funny and glamorous. (Don't tell her I said so.)

DH and I have been married for 12 years and together for nearly 20.

I can honestly say, I find him MUCH more attractive now, than when we first met.

When we met, he was a charming, yet terribly shy and insecure boy. I loved him but sometimes felt like he didn't challenge me very much.

These days, his self confidence, strong committment to our family, not to mention the fact that he has changed from being a good looking lad into a handsome devil of a man (he is 38) make him VERY attractive to me.

Yes. Absolutely.
Been together over 30 and married for nearly 30. He is just as gorgeous and sexy as he was then, if not more so. He is intelligent and caring. He is interesting to talk to and shares my (sometimes off the wall) sense of humour. I still get that 'butterfly in the tummy' feeling when I think about him.

Yes. Despite all HIS faults

We have been together over 14 years.

I dunno. We had a bust-up last night (about something stupid) so right at the moment I want to say I wouldn't give him a second look, but that's probably unfair.

I should've looked for someone with more money, though

Oh yes. More so now than when we first met.

Oh God yes!! We have been together 20 years and had some flippin hard times but I'm glad I'm wiht him. I can't believe my luck to be honest.

If I met him now I'm sure it would be the same as before. He's not a flash good looking type but scratch below the surface and you find a diamond!

Is this the MN 17 year itch?

I really don't know if I'd fall for him. I'm not really sure exactly what I fell for 17 years ago, apart from that he made me laugh. My judgement is waaaaay different (better?) these days, but I can't deny we really get on on a certain level, and he's a great dad. He's ageing a LOT better than me, too, so I'd feel a bit pots and kettles about complaining on that score.

However, I often feel irritated by him and don't feel that we are on the same intellectual level. God, that sounds awful. But I find myself rolling my eyes at some of the things he says. And he seems less confident in some ways (insecure and defensive around my family, for eg, who can be a bit snobbish).

But am putting a lot of this down to my pg grumpiness. If we could actually spend some time alone together, I might think differently.

Him as a person: Yes
Him with all his baggage that I inherited: No

The thing that makes me wonder is when I read other people saying that, without reservation, they would choose the same partner again. I always well up and feel envious. But is it realistic for everyone to feel that lucky? Just wondering...

Yes. But only if I wasn't me 17 years ago.

Yes I would. We have been together for 17 years and married for 14.

We may have done our "together" life slightly differently though and possibly moved to London when dh finished his job training instead of staying in Scotland and then ending up in England anyway. Would have held off having our first child until we were slightly older too and perhaps had a few holidays as a couple rather than a family

What an interesting question. I think I would- we've been together for 11 years and had our ups and downs. But he has all of the qualitites that I go for and is still really handsome. I get irritated by his lack of ambition sometimes, but on the other hand, his laid-backness (if that's a word) makes our relationship work well. I have a tendancy to get itchy feet sometimes and feel a bit trapped, and I think he's the only person I could stay through those periods with.

Yes I would. We've been together 18 years and married 14. He's the only person who totally gets me and he makes me laugh a lot. He's also still totally hot.

We've been together 15+ years and I still fancy him, enjoy his company and want to hold his hand in public. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with (apart from dcs). I am a much happier person than I was when we met and that's mostly down to him.

Yes, definitely. Also been together 17 years - half my life! Very happy at the thought of growing old together.

Yes - been together 20 years, and he is the lovely man I met

Yes - together 16 years he is bloody gorgeous