What would you think about your ex hubby doing this?

[mummytowillow]

I've been officially separated from my husband for nearly a year now, he left me three times, got himself a 'lady friend', came back and went again, I did everything I could to save our marriage, he wasn't interested. I moved 300 miles back to my home town, got a job, nice house etc, reasonably happy, but still can't believe my life has turned out like this

Anyway, ex sees DD once a month, but seems to want to hang around my house, spend time with me? He phones when DD has gone to bed and wants to chat to me, has started texting me in the day and today asked me if he could put me down as 'next of kin' for a new job he has started ... WTF!

I can't work it out, I asked him about a month ago, after DD had become extremely upset as he left if he had made the right decision and he said he would change alot of things if he could? I asked what and he wouldn't say? He just doesn't do talking and would never admit he made a mistake.

So do you think he is waiting for me to say come back, (by the way I'm not going to)! Even though part of me wants to for DD?? It would mean me moving back down South as he has a well paid, secure job and me looking for work again, new nursery etc, someone please talk sense into me to be even considering this!!

Are you mad?

He's lost his cosy billet and wants it back.

He'd do exactly the same thing again if you gave up your security and your new life.

Why would you want to go back to him for your DD? So that you and he can teach her that she should expect to grow up and marry an unreliable bastard? Doesn't sound like a great plan to me...

You're single! That means you have the opportunity to go out and find someone better than him, woohoo!

But as for the next of kin business, you can either accept (and get 4x his salary in the event of his death - that was what we had at my last couple of jobs) or else freeze him out by insisting he puts DD down!

grass not greener for him then ?

diddums

I remember your threads and the anguish you went through

You have a new life without (in spite of) him

WTF would you entertain going right back to square fucking one ??

If he wants to come back then I think he has got to prove he is sorry and knows he made a mistake by a) moving back to your area b)living in rented accommodation while c) jumping thru whatever hoops you tell him to in order to prove that he has changed.

After six months of this, if you feel happy you could let him back.

Anything less than that, I don't think you can accept given the history. As others say he has probably just twigged that he did have quite a nice thing going on, but sounds like he'd just stuff it up again once he got his feet back under the table.

Anyfucker - Hello haven't seen a post from you for ages, how are you? I'm crazy I know and but won't be moving anywhere, I just want him to say he made a mistake, why I don't know!! You always make me smile with your posts! Love them!

he doesn't do talking and would never admit he made a mistake
that in itself would be a nono for me
he is keeping you on back burner - look he left you 3 times already!
keep contact strictly to co-parenting issues, for your own sanity!

Hi, MTW, I have been around

I am fine, thanks for asking

Perhaps he will never admit he made a mistake. The fact remains though that you didn't...you made a new life for yourself and he wants a piece of it.

Even if he does admit it...what will change ? He will still have thrown you and dc away on the scrap-heap to "find himself". Funny how they "find themselves" in another woman's knickers

Keep him at arms length...no more cosy chats, no more hanging out together. He will wear you down and play on your good nature.

Keep it business-like.

He made his choice, and put you through hell in the process.

I am sure you will get lots more advice on this thread. I suspect most of it will concur with me.

LOL there's an amazing number of lost men in women's knickers aren't there?

indeed

it certainly pays to give them a good shake before throwing them in the wash

you don't know what fuckwits you might find lurking in that baggy gusset