Why did my ex have absolutely no regard for my thoughts or feelings whatsoever when we were together.
He constantly told me that my feelings didn't mean anything, the "family" as a unit more important than one person. I should just deal with his behaviour, infidelity, selfishness, verbal and emotional abuse and drinking because the "family" the most important thing and my feelings didn't matter.
I am selfish because I left him. I put myself before my children. I am preventing him from living with his children because my "own, pathetic feelings". I am a grown woman and should put my children first, before silly romantic dreams.
All things he said to me, even today he said them again and I know he believes it, I know he believes that I am inconsequential and my hopes and feelings are completely unimportant. How can someone feel that way about another Human Being, especially one who is the mother of his children?
Do you have to have a personality disorder to think this way or am I really so disgusting and unloveable? He looks and talks to me as though he doesn't consider me to be human. I am just a bad, selfish, horrible person, who has no right to demand any kind of decent treatment.
I can't seem to deal with this. It is always in my head. I feel damaged by it, as though I will never be able to have any kind of relationship again even friendship because I am so pointless.