Grandparents to be excitement

[Funkycherry]

I've posted this here rather than AIBU to get advice rather than a flaming.

I need help (possibly from existing grandparents) to get my head around something. I'm nearly 37wks pregnant with my first.

I just don't 'get' why my mother is excited about having her first grandchild. She says she "can't wait for a cuddle." Now I'm sure I will love my baby and think she is adorable but I don't understand other peoples interest.
I spent time with my own grandmothers when they were alive, but I don't remember being especially close to them.

I'm not close to my mother either, so I guess that just makes me find it even weirder that she seems to be so excited that I'm pregnant.
Currently, I stop by to see my parents every couple of weeks if I'm driving past their place (they live nearby.) We look after their dog if they go away and they look after ours. So its a civil relationship.

I just find her level of interest odd and its making me feel really uncomfortable about what she'll be like when its born.

Any thoughts?

Meita Thanks. Nice to know I'm not alone. Although, I hope to god I don't become more like her!

I think I like that I've managed to distance myself from her over the years, to the point where what she says or does doesn't effect me (ie hurt me.)
I suppose I don't want this baby to bring us closer together - keeping her at arms length is fine by me.

I know I can't let my feelings about her affect the relationship she wants with her grandchild though.

I think the key difference is that gps KNOW what it's like to have a newborn, they know how precious and vulnerable they are and they know that you just love your new baby to the exclusion of everything else.

However you haven't actually got to that stage yet, and it's difficult to really know how you'll feel about your LO when you haven't actually experienced it yet...

Explaining that really badly, but I was never terribly excited with dc1 cos I really didn't believe deep down what was happening - I didn't know what it was going to be like. Having experienced it once though with dc2 it was TOTaLLY different.

It took me a little while to get my head round the fact that people other than me and DH could immediately love my DS as a separate being. It is really lovely to watch how much my sisters adore their nephew. I always assumed that they would be happy to babysit etc, but I thought that they would interact with him mainly because of their relationship with me, if you see what I mean. That is completely not the case and all the family love him for him, and have done from the beginning.

I think if I asked my mum to choose between me and her grandson then grandson would win hands down. Being a grandparent means you get all the good bits of being a parent, the fun and the laughter (plus additional spoiling rights behind parents back) but none of the sleepless nights and worry.

You say you and your mum aren't close, do you think she is hoping that this new baby might bring you closer?

IME experience grandparents can be v peculiar around births, as around weddings. They settle down again, though.

it suprised me how suddenly my MIl wanted to be involved - she doesn't have a close relationship with DH (very tense at times) but suddenly she wanted to be around as much as possible. My parents were excited but my Mum was more long-term excited (she was looking forwards to seeing baby grow into a little person) and obviously concerned for her baby (something that needn't trouble MIL)

i think if you don't have close relationship it can be very wearing...

it may be that she (the OPs MIL)does not want a fresh start in her relationship with her daughter, but is envisaging a whole new stat with GC - now in the long term that can work but with a newborn very much attached to its mother most of the time - no.

Why would they not be excited?

My FIL practically danced around the room when told of my pregnancy

titchy you summed p how I felt about ds1. he, to me, was simply the reason my stomach moved sometimes.

then he was born and he became both real and the most important thing I had ever seen in my life ever (see ridiculous pfb behavior for details)

I think you'll understand when you see and hold your baby for the first time. Babies are a magic, wonderful gift and i can understand why people want to hold them. You will probably be approached by complete strangers in supermarkets who want to scare you to death in your sleep-crazed hormonal state have a lovely cuddle and coo over your baby.
I think it's weird from total strangers, but this is your mum and remember that she will have loved you and still lolves you just as much as you love your gorgeous little baby. Give it time, it's not weird honestly it's nice - but it can feel a bit suffocating until your hormones settle down and everything gets back to some kind of normality afterwards

cleanandclothed you've explained how I feel really well. Thats how I am with friends children (and partners tbh!) I interact with them because of the relationship I have with the friend.

Libra Yes, maybe she IS hoping it will bring us closer, but that's not something I want. If she wanted to be close to me she should have tried before now. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been hurt too many times.

ump - wow, you're telling me! We got married when I was 20wks!

EAP yep, I'm suprised by the reaction of mother, MIL, complete strangers!

diddl My mum punched the air and whooped when I told her. That's the point of my post. I'm trying to understand why ANYONE finds these things exciting. I'm finding getting people's views enlightening.

colditz lol - I already know I'm going to display some pfb behaviour because I can feel myself getting possessive over things already!!!