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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I please tell you how well I handled things this time...

7 replies

pleasereassure · 20/06/2010 21:51

My last thread was all about H lying about the presence of his girlfriend when spending time with DSs. H and I separated almost two months ago and he started seeing new GF two weeks later, immediately taking DSs on sleepovers with her without my knowledge.

I just wanted to say Thanks to you all as your lovely words of support helped me handle this weekend's events brilliantly.

H had the boys this weekend. He returned them (three hours late due to massive traffic jam) happily. DS2 was very very upset to see Daddy leave but it was handled positively. I even took DSs out to the car to wave off H, GF and GF's daughter. DSs confirmed that they had had a lovely time, and that GF and daughter were lovely. Telephoned H later to say that DS2 was calm and happy again.

It was hearing all of your experiences on here that made me fully understand that DSs need to have a relationship with their father. I have let go of the reigns and, as long as DSs are safe, happy and well-looked after, then that's good enough for me. I trusted H with their welfare for the past 12 years, plus he had impeccable taster when choosing to be with me so I have chosen to stop worrying about children and GF.

We've even decided to meet on Wednesday to discuss more structured visits, plus begin to sort finances.

What a difference two weeks makes. I did stifle a little smirk at the thought of H and GF being stuck in a traffic jam for four hours with my two squabbling in the back of the car...

OP posts:
pleasereassure · 20/06/2010 21:53

taste, not taster

OP posts:
MumInBeds · 20/06/2010 21:55

Well done, it sounds like you handled it really well. You must be very proud of yourself and your boys certainly will be in the long run.

pleasereassure · 20/06/2010 22:08

Hoorah! Am v v proud. Might have a crafty little gin to celebrate.

It was strange how I felt no emotion seeing H with his new little family in the car. I guess that shows that all is well.

Wonder what GF thought to my pleasantly, mature response...she resisted waving back as gaily as I was.

OP posts:
maybees · 20/06/2010 22:13

Well done OP you sound lovely enjoy your evening you did so well today x

Downdog · 20/06/2010 22:14

saintly - you sound like a lady in control and with a plan.
Go you!

Personal/private smirking re traffic jam is an essential part in all of this I'd say

pleasereassure · 20/06/2010 22:18

Do you think it would be overkill to give H and GF a full rendition of "so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye..." next time?

Complete with cuckoo clocks and yawning?

OP posts:
lazarusb · 21/06/2010 17:40

No- go for it! You did well, long may it last for all of you (sorry that sounds more positive in my head!)

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