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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you deal with family functions when you really, really can't stand someone?

3 replies

Serejana · 18/06/2010 13:23

To cut a long story short, my sil and I had a huge falling out. It was obvious that there were issues beforehand as she brought up things from the past and basically said she hated me and never wants to speak to me again.
I was always civil to her though I did think she was really lazy and it would annoy me when she would sit on her arse while her kids made a mess and my mum and I would be tidying up and looking after her kids, feeding them, entertaining them etc
and I was often frank with her about it and would tell her to help out.

Anyway, we had a huge row one day. She swore at me and called me a fkng bitch and slut (which anyone would tell you, I am definitely not). I just told her that she was very eloquent, especially infront of the kids and didn't say anything else.

We're supposed to be having family get together tomorrow and I really don't want to see her. Its going to be very awkward and I know for a fact that she'll be blanking me anyway. I have tried to talk to her but she just screamed at me.

I've gone past the stage of wanting to sort things out and actually feel quite enraged.

I can't get out of this thing and wonder if anyone has any tips on how to deal with my feelings and with the get-together (I don't think I'll have to see her much after this)

Thanks and sorry its so long

OP posts:
ticktockclock · 18/06/2010 13:28

Just spend time and enjoy the company of those you do like. You do not need to speak to the SIL or socialise with her.

Do you work with anyone that you don't like? Same type of thing, you just get on with it without including emotion.

I did not speak to my mother for 10 years but still attended family functions that we were both included in. It is about doing it for the other members of the family that are important to you above all the bt.

Serejana · 18/06/2010 13:57

I am only attending because of other family members so I will focus on that.

Did you used to greet your mother or was there no communication whatso ever?

It all just feels so crap.

OP posts:
ticktockclock · 18/06/2010 19:11

No, never talked to her at all. Just socialised with others and left it at that. It is hard but sometimes that is just the way that it has to be, at least it was for me. Better to just be step above it all.

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