Would you want to know - Possible "Other Woman" being gossiped about

[LimaCharlie]

Names changed to protect the innocent:

In our village there are two couples - Dave and Diane who were very good friends with Julie and John.

Dave and Diane have split up and Diane's best friend is telling all and sundry that it's because Dave had an affair with Julie.

I know Julie fairly well and think it very surprising given that she has two pre-school age children that she would have either the time or the inclination to have an affair.

So if you were Julie and this kind of gossip was being spread around about you would you want to know? And if so how should I tell her?

Are you friends? If so I would ask her outright "Did you have an affair with Dave?" but try to remain non-judgemental.

If you're not friends then I would leave it.

But don't assume it couldn't have happened - tbh I would be more inclined to assume that it did.

I think I would have a quiet word, making it clear you are not interested in the gossip but feel it's unfair she is being talked about without her knowledge.

Don't do anything anonymous, that is horrible. HTH.

What would Diane's BF gain from telling this lie?

Say something. Is there any evidence or just a bitter and twisted person trying to get some revenge for being dumped?

Some people who try not to air dirty laundry in public and act with dignity and stuff like this just wrecks any chance they have of being amicable. Shame for both couples and the kids

If I were Julie in this scenario, I would want to know that this gossip was being spread about me so that I could tell the gossip spreader to stop telling lies/put own version out there (depending on whether the affair happened or not).

It I were you however I would be very wary about getting involved in a potentially nasty village row and probably would say nothing unless Julie was a very close friend.

presumably Diane's bf knows from Diane? So maybe there is something in it.

I'd just keep out of it tbh.

I'm also interested in this. I have a friend who is a relatively unhappy relationship (this she has told me). She has been with her DP for quite a few years and have an 11 year old DD. Whilst at some mutual friends' house the other day, the "Dad" told me that during a "Dad's coffee meetup" the DP of my friend confided he was having an affair with a 17 year old woman.
Now, as I don't know how much of this is true I am reluctant to say anything. I am also aware it is none of my business. But if I was my friend, I'd bloody want to know.

Op- sorry for hijack. If "Julie" is a friend of yours then I rthink I would tell her what people are saying about her.

beingsetup - If Julie is innocent then why would Diane want to get "revenge" on her?

Anyway. I like a bit of juicy goss - I totally think Julie and Dave have been getting it ON. Poor Diane. Poor lonely Diane.

thing is with gossip you just never know. Was that man making it up to impress the other dads?

Hard to say

when? when have they been getting it on if Julie has 2 preschoolers.

People are so good at organising their time. I could never have managed to fit in an affair

Shirley I have to admit it reminds me a bit of this for some reason.

Sorry OP, no offence

I take it there is no pampas grass growing in anyone's front yard though?

He could be coming over during naptime? Or maybe they go to playgroup.

I'd tell her. If I were Julie and innocent, I'd want to know people were saying this about me. And if I were Julie and guilty, I'd want to know to cover my tracks.

Having babies doesn't mean you can't get down to a bit of ugly bumping with your best mate's husband.

Gawd.

I think Diane should seduce Jim. Even up the score a bit.

people have so much energy

I dunno

So was Dianne's bf maybe rejected by Jim and she has it in for Julie?

I was about to suggest the other lot get busy.

if it were my sister, I would investigate a bit and I would tell her

someone else, I would keep out of it but I might sound her out, beating frantically around the bush a bit along the lines: You and Jim used to go out with Dave and Diane a lot. Are you still seeing much of each other now they have broken up? So diff when you are friends with both of them, isn't it? etc

I am no good at this kind of thing which is why I keep out of it usually

Thanks I'm really unsure as to what to do - if I were being gossipped about I would want to know - but shooting the messenger and all that?

To fill a few gaps - not posting by stealth honest - yes Diane's friend knows Julie - and according to the friend, Diane, on discovering the affair told John, who said that he already had found out about the affair but didn't tell Diane cos of her children.

Julie has part time childcare and John works away during the week so guess the opportunity could have arisen - don't want to assume either way.

so John knows but he and Julie are still together. Diane has just found out and broken up with Dave?

sounds a bit messy for a village.

I think Julie can assume it is being gossiped about so I wouldn't tell her. She will consider you as having engaged in gossip about her.

I mean presumably she knows her dh found out, since Diane has obviously found out and split up because of it.

keep out of it I think

In all seriousness, I'd keep my beak right OUT OF THIS one (whoops sorry caps)

John's probably nobbing the farmer or somesuch.

Nothing interesting ever happens here.

I'd imagine there'd be ample opportunity if John's away during the week and the couples were good friends. It wouldn't be seen as out of the ordinary if Dave was seen going into/out of her house because they're friends, her husband's away and perhaps she might need some help with plumbing in the new washing machine/fitting a light switch... you get the picture.

Well I left XH because he was an arse, but he tells anyone who'll listen that it was for an affair. So maybe Diane (or her friend on her behalf) is looking for someone to blame instead of looking in the mirror. Who knows?

Zzen - you're spot on. I think I will keep well out of it, I just felt sorry for Julie being the subject of gossip with (potentially) not knowing.

DH is a regular at the pub and hasn't heard anything so hopefully its not widespread.