Impartial advice very much needed

[Dyllon]

Hello,
I would really appreciate some advice on how to re-forge a relationship with my mother...
I am 21, and left home to live in Paris 3 years ago. Since this time I have been in a long distance relationship with my -somewhat older- boyfriend (35). We have a very loving relationship and I am planning my life very much with him in it.
However, my parents are very much against me being with him; misgivings about our age difference, and subsequently it has put an enormous amount of pressure on my relationship with my whole family. I would love to get back the closeness I had with my parents alas they are unwilling to even entertain any idea of my boyfriend being in their lives.
Is there anything I can do to solve this? Or should I just resign myself to the fact my parents will never accept my relationship?
Thankyou in advance

Is it really about his age? Have they other concerns for you? Is your relationship with them generally good?

Well, initially it took me 6 months to tell my parents about my relationship (I justified it to myself by my not knowing whether the 14 year age difference was just that little too much, coupled with us living in different countries) however, since then I have tried to be as transparent as possible with my life in order to get back what was previously a very loving and open relationship.

So, tell us about your boyfriend!

Why don't your parents like him, and why do you have a LDR?

Well, what probably makes it harder is that you're far away, so they can't see that you're happy & fine on a daily basis IYSWIM. Now you're 21 the age difference isn't so important (unless there are other issues), and if you previously had a good relationship with your parents, they should be happy if they see that you're happy. Send them a picture of you both having fun in the snow or at a party looking nice, mention him in your emails etc. Was there anything other than his age they were worried about?

Do you have any siblings, and if so how do they feel about your bf? My parents were very unhappy about my partner (mostly because we're not married; they're very hardcore christian), but when my brother spent some time with partner and then reported back to my parents, it seemed to help a bit.

Other than that, just stress that it's your life, your choice, and that if your boyfriend makes you happy then that's good enough for you and should be good enough for them. Then just focus on your relationship with your parents (if that's what you want to do) and hope they warm to the idea of him in time, I guess.

Good luck, and I hope it works out ok for you.

Hi there

Seems interesting to me that you resisted telling them about him as ( i guess) you were scared of their reaction. Is this a sign you are always worried about how they will react to things if you don't "conform". Have you ever been worried about telling them anything else? How were they about you moving to Paris?

Love from 1foot

Thankyou for all your advice everyone. It is really appreciated.