Could you remind me what it feels like to be v happy in a relationship

[bunsandroses]

Hi Ladies,

I have recently finished my relationship with my DP, after nearly 5 years together and 2 years of mega ups and downs. We are still living together and every day is a nightmare at the moment. DP can't really see what has gone wrong despite many many talks, he thinks that all couples go through awful times. I live away from my family and friends and feel like I am losing perspective. I know I have been deeply unhappy for a long time.

Could you remind me what it is like to be in a happy relationship, is it reasonable to expect an equal relationship when you have DCs. Just remind me that you can be happy with a partner, sure they will always annoy you but ultimately they can be your best friend, so i can see some light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you MNers

my dh and i are also in this 'limbo' situation atm.
i have not worn my wedding ring for 3 months now, been to see a solicitor re a divorce, and we are just sort of muddling along for sake of kids.
it is a weird situation to be in but you have to decide if you want to move on or try again...they are your only 2 choices really.

also, my dh was the same...did not really understand why i wanted to end relationship.
think men are a bit blank when it comes to that sort of thing. they just dont get women and how they feel.

feeling your pain bananalover, its horrible isn't it. I have made the decision in my head to leave but just kind of wanted to be reminded of normal functional and loving relationships so i can remind myself there is something outside the big emotional mess that i am currently in. Does that sound weird?

what exactly are your probs with dp...can they be overcome?
i thought i would never ever ever stay with my dh, but we cant afford to divorce and you have to think of the kids too.
am considering trying to make a fresh start because this situation we are in now is freaking me out....cant stand the tight polite conversations when we could, if he really tried, have what i call 'deep meaningful conversations'. we could get it all out in the open and make a fresh start. cant you consider doing this too?

bananalover I have really tried but there are just no channels for communication. We have had countless problems, financial and security related and I strongly believe you can overcome those problems but if you can't talk to your partner, or he won't pay any attention to ANY of my requests, no matter how small. He just seems to want to live in his own world and is so stubborn that he just does what he wants to do.
We have been to relate and I have left when our ds was very small but come back in the hope that something would change. A year later I just don't see anything changing.

Have you considered relate with your dp? They can make it easier to have the conversation that you can't have with your DP yourself.