I will really try to make this brief but there is so much to it I may need to drip feed a bit.
My mother and father split up when I was 3 as she was having an affair with another man. She knew that he was married with 2 little girls, but after splitting from my dad she found out that he was also seeing another woman. Despite this, they continued to see each other on and off for years. My grandparents were very well off, so they bought my mum a lovely 2 bed semi for her, me and my sister. She worked part time and was very comfortable financially. He still lived with his wife for a long time and he had his own business, but was convicted of fraud and my mum bailed him out as he was owing £45,000. I'm not sure how she got the money - think she might have asked her dad or remortgaged the house.
She kept asking him to move in with her but he would never commit as he didn't want to leave his daughters. Eventually after about 10 years he said he would move in, but before he did he said he had a confession that he had been seeing another woman. They split up for a while and my mum had a nervous breakdown, but after a while he came back with his tail between his legs and moved in. It was awful for my sister and I as we were still so angry at him and we now had to live with him in a relatively small house.
Things got a bit better, although his kids hated my mum and blamed her, shut her fingers in the car door etc. It was really hard but she really persevered. They even got engaged as his divorce came through. Then he went on holiday with his friends and when he came back my mum started getting phone calls at work (she worked with her DP) from a Scandinavian woman saying that she had met him on holiday and that he had told her he was leaving my mum. So they split up again and Scandinavian woman comes over to Uk and he flaunts her at the local sports club, restaurants, etc.
Anyway not exactly sure how that ended, but it did and they got back together, got a new engagement ring, moved house and got married. He vowed never to be unfaithful again and as far as I know he hasn't been but who knows.
Anyway, unfortunately a few years ago my grandmother (her mum) died. My mum was left some money and decided to retire from the business that she and her DH ran together. DH couldn't really manage it on his own so they sold the business. They knew that they had to have some sort of income, so DH suggested that they use some of my mum's inheritance money to buy some properties and turn them into flats, so they did, except that they couldn't get any planning permission for flats, as all plans that they submitted were rejected. They have now been left with the properties which are playcentres and my mum is having to run them.
Because of this, he started up a new business himself, and also decided to buy an old derelict pub and do it up. To top it off they also own two other business properties which they have struggled to lease out.
Unfortunately my grandad also passed away last year, which my mum has found very stressful. He was quite well off and my sister and I were told that we were getting £X from him (not that the money is of high importance to us, but relevant). Anyway, this was in September last year and no-one has received anything yet.
So I have my mum in tears on the phone the other day as her DH had gone in secret to her dad and asked for £15,000, but told him not to say anything. He signed a legal document, but alleges that he never got the money!
This is why everything with the will has taken so long, as they have been investigating all the bank accounts to find out if the money was transferred or not. (They can't find that it has).
Mum's DH can't see a problem with it, but she is so hurt that he went behind her back, and also that he has held up the finalising of the will etc, by keeping all this a secret for almost a year.
They are in huge amounts of debt and he owes her hundreds of thousands of pounds.
She has spoken today about the bank repossessing the house.
I feel so for her, though I know and have told her that in a way she has allowed this to happen.
Having said that, she knows she has been a bit of a mug, and she is considering leaving him.
I just need to know if there is any advice I can give her emotionally, financially or legally. I just don't know if she knows what to do for the best.
If she stays with him I just don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him again .
Sorry this is so long and rambling - well done and thank you if you made it to the end !!