frustrated with my sister

[Sonilaa]

just a rant really...
she always makes me feel inadequate, she comments on my parenting a lot, seems to know it all and just cant keep her comments to herself. if I tell her off we usually end up in a fight or I just put the phone down (we live very far apart, so only see each other twice a year). she has her nose up high because she reads all those glossy parenting magazines while I trust mumsnet my instincts more. plus she is a good customer of a quack who advocates that medicine is the work of the devil.
I just dont know how to deal with her.
her comments really hurt sometimes and I cannot make it clear to her that my way of doing things is as right or wrong as hers. I would never say to her that what she does is wrong, it isn*t, it is just different. plus we live in different countries so there are cultural differences as well.

Just leave her to her silly ideas and thank god you live in a different country. Wish my sister lived in a different country (sorry know thats mean).

Don't talk to her anymore than necessary, don't tell her off, she sounds a right princess and they will automatically make it your fault, just say you heard the door and have to go, and then hang up.

If you are feeling evil, when she says she does something one way laugh heartily and say 'Oh, that's so funny, where did you hear that?.........Oh, hang on, were you serious'

This works for lots of sister situaitons, not just parenting, one of my sisters hates it if I am really lucky it makes her cry

Can you let her calls go to answerphone and then email her with a brief message or response, pretending you were too busy to answer the phone? It's a completely wimpy evasion tactic I know, but it saves you (to some extent) from having to be put down by her comments. I do this with my sister and while it may not be relevant or helpful in your situation it could give you a breathing space.

QualityTime, that response is inspired. Wish I had the chance to use it.

I don't have teh guts to use it with anyone apart from my sisters.
I don't get all this sisterly solidarity nonsense. Mine are mosty lovely but damn when they want to they can hurt. Sisters know all your little buttons.
Once christmas I had a bet with one sister as to how fast she could reduce another sister to tears. It took 90 seconds from me saying go. And we were all in our 20's.
Still love em though

thanks, yes she knows the buttons and I fall for it all the time. apart from the parenting issues we get along great. but it really gets me, I feel like bad mother and guilty for makng her feel bad as well. and then I feel bad because she is able to make me feel like this. madness I know!

You see, you don't get this with brothers!

Is she older than you?

no my brother is all right. she*s 5 years younger.

Don't know why I even asked that, I am a younger sister and I can be a cow

It's not easy with sisters who can't help themselves acting superior, you just have to keep telling youself that she is not your superior. And breathe. and imagine horrible punishments for her.
Sorry I can't be much more help, I tend to talk to my sisters and then vent to DH.