RIVEROFFLIGHT - how dreadful for you. Maybe you are in shock? How was your relationship beforehand? I would be thankful for such a muted response. And yes, it is easier to forget he exists. Certainly we took a very painful route by the family confrontation and then, spearheaded by my stepMum, we eventually turned him over to the police after he failed to do anything apart from deny deny deny.
I've never cried so much in my life - the shock, anger, disgust, trying to get my head around what he had actually done, lots of other things falling into place (making some sense of some of his increasingly strange & bizarre behaviour over previous year or so)
My sister thought people were going to start throwing things through HER window - nothing like that occured to me. My problem was reconciling how did this man I loved & admired turn into such a total arrogant, vain, self obsessed, pervert, evil freak?
The word monster is often referred to re paedophiles (is he a paedophile? does downloading make you one? or it is other action? were there inappropriate actions with his grandkids? other vulnerable people in the community he set out to 'help'? - so many many questions still that aren't answered). But you know what, they aren't all "monsters", they don't stand out in the street, they can be 'normal' people - your brother/father/partner/son etc - people you love.
This I find very difficult - are these men really everywhere? or am I being overdramatic? I certainly feel as though they are. That has messed with my head lots - I love this man, I don't like him at all, but I still love him, and he is a total prick.
I had a huge emotional response - it was OTT. I was debilateted by it for over a year. I would not have believed it was possible to cry so much. I would cry myself to sleep every night - unless I got stoned, so I started relying on smoking a joint at bedtime just so I wouldn't start sobbing out loud at the point just before I would get off to sleep - that was annoying! (well at least I didn't turn to drink!).
When I got on the plane to fly home for the confrontation, I was very nearly physically sick at being forced into such close quarters with so many men, knowing inside that X% of them are doing what my Dad did. I may be overly cynical, but I believe that. It still hits me now, on the tube or bus - what is the person sitting next to me going to do when he gets home?