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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

moving do I tell ex and inlaws?

6 replies

Mummiehunnie · 13/06/2010 18:38

Hi, I have two children, they have no contact with their father, his family are very loyal to him and have had little to do with the children and I have given up with them as they wanted to control everything and would not make any effort for the children, they are very controlling and cold emotionally.

I am going to move out of the area soon, and as I and the ex went to court, I never stopped him seeing kids, and I was always wanting him to have more contact, long story, anyways court case left with no order for contact! So I was thinking of advising the court of my new address in case he wants to start up any court cases again and I get into trouble for that, he and I have been self representing, so no solicitors!

I am not planning on advising the ex of our new address, he has mobile numbers for me and the kids, he has my email address and knows where my parents live.

Do you think I will get into trouble for not letting them know where we have moved to?

I just want to disappear from his life, he was very controlling and after leaving very abusive, he is remarried and told me his wife lost a baby and they are trying for another, he has no interest in the children and seems to have made a new life for himself, the children know his was and I did all I could to maintain contact to the point of almost forcing them on him, so now I just want to delete him from our lives really I suppose, as it is pointless making someone who has no interest and is hurting the children in our lives!

His parents believe his rubbish, it must be hard for them to accept that he is abusive and not interested in the kids, and they want to control also, I have done all I could for two years and I have had enough of it really, they were not even that nice to the children, and were rude to me and people around me the last time we saw them, so group things are uncomfortable with them also! The children had a bit of time alone with them and they found them miserable and unexciting, rather like their father really, and as if the grandparents were not interested in them, it was all fact finding mission, to brag about afterwards!

What do you think?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 13/06/2010 18:48

Personally, I wouldn't.

As you say, your ex has your mb number, so can contact you if he wants to.

LoveBeing34 · 13/06/2010 18:48

I think that as long as he has some contact details then that is enough, if out of politeness you wish tomake him aware you are moving thensend him a note of the day you move.

Mummiehunnie · 13/06/2010 18:54

he knows I am moving as I am selling fmh!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 13/06/2010 19:05

well leave it for him to ask where you're going.....if he's bothered!

Magalyxyz · 13/06/2010 19:08

No I wouldn't send a card. He can track you down through your parents if he is really bothered.

Mummiehunnie · 13/06/2010 19:10

he has asked me where I plan to move to, if I am staying in the area or out of it, I have told him I am staying local for now, as I have not made a final decision, he also asked to look at the houses I had in mind, I have told him I have not looked yet which is true, I think it is more about wanting to know where we are for control rather than wanting contact, he does not seem to want contact with the children! He rejected them days before getting married, he did not tell them or me or invite them to his wedding!

OP posts:
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