forces wives/girlfriends

[charlybear7]

Hello,

Every so often I find myself getting so resentful and jealous of my boyfriend. We're both in the Navy and hes currently away, having the time of his life in America and I'm stuck at home growing a baby (i'm 22 weeks)! I feel that my life is on hold in every aspect. My job, my social life, my friends are all on hold or non existant anymore. I feel awful for feeling jealous of him but I feel like his life hasn't changed one bit and i'm already making ALL the sacrifices. I think I find it especially hard when he goes out drinking with all his mates, tells me about his day and then asks me what i've been up and I've been to work, done the house work and gone to bed. I feel i've become soooo boring and its worrying me that he might get bored of me!

Am I just being pregnant and emotional or am I making some sense?

x

I don't understand why you're not doing any more with your time, if you're bored?

yeah come on love, take yourself out and about and get some exercise if nothing else.... and try and meet some people!

you're in the navy too? so theres a social life right there for you! why arent you involvedin the life around you? are you in quarters?

Charlybear, I have felt, and often still feel, the same as you. My DH is in the forces and I have always been very independent and enjoyed living life to the full. Since we had the children, my lifestyle has changed dramatically, and there is no denying how difficult I have found it.

I frequently resent my DH for the 'full' life and career he has but I keep reminding myself that the children aren't little for long and I can and will get back what I feel I have lost, albeit in a slightly toned down way.

Is your partner understanding and supportive? It does help to communicate the way you feel and make some plans for the future. This is a life changing event for both of you and you need to express that. Perhaps you could arrange to go out for dinner, have a day out or do something like swimming together. Ease yourselves slowly into becoming a family.

You may find it helpful to pal up with some other pregnant ladies - aquanatal, yoga classes etc (your midwife will know whats on) and certainly once the baby arrives force yourself out of the door and off to all the baby groups you can find. Being able to talk to others in the same position as yourself will help to make you feel 'normal'.

You could also try posting on the forces message board (forces sweethearts), I think most of the girls there understand the unique dynamics of relationships with military personnel

Do you live close to base? Get yourself down the Hive or to Mums n Todds. Theres plenty of support available through SSAFA etc too. Bset of all, get down he pub with your mates (coes cheap and theres no smoke risk any more) or have the girls around for a few coffee mornings/evenings.

You dont need to feel alone.

Thank you everyone for your replies. 2tontess I'm glad you understand how I'm feeling. Yes my boyfriend is so supportive, I couldnt ask for a better father to be. He tries to understand how I feel and I think he does to a certain degree. He's away at the mo, back next week - yay!

I remind myself that however much I feel I might be missing out on things I used to do, he's missing out on so much already and I know it kills him to not be there for me in person. He has missed both my scans which was tough going to them without him and seeing all the other women there with their partners.

I think also I need to get some new friends who understand what its like to be pregnant and have a family. A lot of my friends arent at that stage yet and dont understand me which makes me feel quite alone. I've signed up for nct antenatal classes that we're both able to go to and i'm excited that i'll meet like minded people.

I will have a look on forces sweethearts forum so thank you for that.

x