Dodgy looking picture on fb..

[DSM]

Yesterday, dp's ex girlfriend put some pictures on facebook of a recent night out.

There is one of dp in a slightly compromising position.

The night in question, he went out to meet a friend who was in town. He came home around 1am, and I was in bed but he came in and instantly told me he had something to tell me. He told me ex-gf was there, he didn't know she would be going.

He said she was with her new partner, and that they exchanged pleasantries but hardly spoke.

Now, a photo has been added of him with the ex's friend lying with her head on his knees, and they appear to be holding hands

I feel a bit sick. Don't know what to do, is probably innocent, though he'll obvioulsy say it is either way.

I also see, from a quick history check on pc, that he looked at this girls facebook page just a few days ago.

Why the ?

"frustration at certain posters jumping to irrational conclusions."

DSM

to me this event was definately something about nothing, and if you fret about it while he's away, then do a confrontation with him about it when he gets back, you could cause a big rift in your relationship.

I'd try very hard to forget you have seen this photo. You were happy with him yesterday ? then why let a stupid photograph spoil it??

Fab - that was in reference to a different thread, not this one.

I will talk to him tomorrow night when he gets home. I'll ask him to detag the picture so it's gone from his page.

I'll see his reaction then, though I'm pretty sure nothing untoward happened.

Sorry DSM, I think you've got your head in the sand about your DP. Given that a while ago, you found him secretly communicating with an ex and now this, at the very least your DP enjoys flirting with exes and their friends. And if I remember rightly, he was even withholding the fact that he was in a relationship with you, with the other ex.

I agree with whoever said downthread that the "I've got something to tell you..." comment is an overkill for the bland fact that an ex was present. Unless that is, that he thinks you'd flip your lid at the mere presence of another ex in a public place, which is presumably nonsense.

Like I said to you last time, how would he feel if there was a picture on FB of you holding hands with another man and with your head in his lap? And actually, would you behave like this? Would you deny you were in a relationship to another man?

Oh Didn't realise this was a possible repeat of history.

All the same - what else could he have done, WWIFN? Assuming the story's true, this is all quite ordinary. We advise people to insist on complete honesty following an infidelity, so wasn't he doing exactly the right thing by telling her immediately about the ex? If he'd left it until morning, some may wonder why he hadn't mentioned it on the night

Er...he told her about the ex being there.

What he didn't tell her was that the ex's friend had her head in his lap and he was holding her hand. And that's just what is evident from the photo, after all.

Can I say .....IF he was up to 'no good' then the other woman wouldnt be posting those pictures on her profile ....i think its either shes a tart and a bloke draper or shes winding you up- dont rise to it.

Not very nice to call someone a 'tart' just for a bit of larking about on a night out, imo.

This incident alone adds up to nowt, i would say. If you have other suspicions about him, that's a different issue. but if I saw this personally I would be a bit bothered but wouldn't assume it's evidence of anything

I think perhaps your idea of a tart and mine are different

A tart to me is a bit of a flirt.....is it worse to you??

err, to lots of people tart means prostitute

Yikes, I'm not going near tart semantics! She's either a [lovely dessert made with sweet pastry and fruit] or a bloke-draper. Yes, this is what I was on about earlier.

There are LOTS of women - far too many - who plaster themselves all over men when they're drunk. It's hard to believe anybody hasn't met at least one of them! And you can't push them off. If you try, they either make a hsyterical fuss, or "fall" onto the nearest table, which causes a hysterical fuss!

There was another man sitting in front of OP's OH, quite possibly meaning there was no safe place upon which to decant the 'friend'.

It's an annoying hazard of nights out in a group. I wouldn't have read anything into this picture, even at the (very justified) height of my marital paranoia.

ok im withdrawing the tart comment (although i meant it in the best way )

Now, I'm confused..

Lah, DSM, it seems to be about the fact that some girls head for the nearest male body when drunk. It was rude to put 'em down with bad words, because it's harmless.

Make any sense?