Needing some help

[tefal]

We are about to return to the UK from abroad. The last few years of my marriage have been tough. I suffered abuse as a child from both parents (now dead) but as many of you know you just can't switch what happened during those years off.

I have issues with intimacy and my husband is getting frustrated. I have agreed that when we return I will get some professional help. When I last looked into this before leaving the UK though it was around 50 quid an hour and we just don't have that sort of excess cash every week. How do I go about getting proper help and can yuo get this on the NHS?

I am not sure if help will even help though. I know things went on in my past and I have some memories but mostly my childhood is a blank. I don't have any memories of a loving childhood, holidays, christmas, birthdays, day to day life but I do have memories of abuse, alcohol, shouting and violence but not full memories just snippets.

How can a professional talk to me about my childhood when I don't remember much of it myself.

I can talk about one memory when I was abused by my babysitter with my father watching. This is a main memory but the rest is just vague snippets.

I need to sort through this though as it could cost me my marriage if I can't work through some of my initmacy issues.

Can anyone help?

I have name changed for this as some people do know me in RL but I haven't confided in them.

I have been going through inner child therapy on the NHS. I believe that you can have 8 sessions, although I think that you can get re referred if necessary.

Inner child healing is VERY intense, it is to go through the grieving process for your damaged inner child. It's tough, but very effective. I had no idea just how bad my childhood was, and this therapy , through drawing etc, has thrown up some stuff that I didn't remember or acknowledge before. The grief has at times been pretty overwhelming and has even made me physically sick, but I'm coming out the other end now. I am aware of changes at an astonishingly deep level.

I went to the GP and was referred for an assessment with the mental health team, who decided that this therapy would be best for me.

I hope my experience is helpful to you. I'm sure that there are other therapies, but this seems to be effective in child abuse cases.

All the very best to you. x

Where are you going to move back to?

If you are in London, I have a list of "low cost therapists" that I was given I can email onto you if that is any use? I pay 40 an hour for mine, you can negotiate less I believe.

good luck from 1foot xx