If anyone wants a male point of view for any topic involving cheating or abuse please ask away.

[harrierhom]

I am new on here and have a thread running as I suspect my partner is cheating on me. If any one want a male viewpoint to any of this I will do what I can.

I have been abused by my ex wife and it also seems that I am being cheated on by my current partner (see "is my partner cheating on me?" thread.

It may help, it may not, bit I am here if anyone needs it.

hello big waves sorry to hear you've had it rough, didn't want to leave your thread unposted on thou.

You sound like a nice chap...thankyou for offering.

I second what Margaret says. Keep posting and I hope it is of help to you.

Aww thats nice - sorry to hear about your bad time of it - you will find light at the end of the tunnel

Just wondered if youd let a girl at work text you dirty jokes - my OH has - he hasnt hidden it from meI use his mobile all the time to call my Mum on her mobile its like a shared thing.. but I just find it a bit odd.. We are not really close at the minute and it worries me - its both our faults really i have self esteem issues feel like he has given up on me as a result. This makes me think he may be flirting with this girl etc.

He is on flexi time so this morning he told me about how many extra hours he clocked up i said "so you're not having an affair then" and he kind of mumbled "whod have me anyway"

God i feel awful writing this when others are going through shite but you did ask and i am probably just being silly and getting stuff of my chest. Think probably had to much wine too.

sorry to hear you are going through the mill at the minute. i hope you get support here and thank you for offering your advice.

so you know when you start life with your partner,
She is gorgeous and you cant be without each other and you cant keep your hands off each other,
well fast forward a few years, she has put a bit of weight on, looking older, but is the same person,

what do you think of her?
What do men think a few years on?

tightwad - would love to know the answer to that question I think it where all my self esteem issues come from - I dont recognise the girl in the mirror anymore

tightwad good question. that is me right now.

OH is looking fitter than ever and i look so rough next to him. he must be so embarrassed.

ohmy & boohoo exsactly my point, i no longer recognise myself in the mirror.
DH has also got a bit of weight on him, but i still absolutely love him to death, but he is cute, im jsut fat n ugly

woman's POV here - my nan told me that if you wake up in the mornings and don't recognise the woman staring back at you there's major problems - so you need to get back out there & find yourself again.

totally agree thesouthbelle, the problem is finding the time between nappy changes and making dinner and doing school runs. maybe i'll pass myself on the way back

even if i did find myself again, i could never catch up with OH. i fear i am now punching above my weight. he is awesome.

What does it mean then when your husband says he doesnt want to kiss you?!

The last few posts on this thead are really sad . I don't think nature is kind to females. Just as we are sacrificing our bodies, time and looks to rear our beautiful babies, our partners and husbands are reaching their peak in their careers and it creates a massive power imbalance.

omydarlin - I personally had the same with my other half, the ex BF was doing the same to her with dirty joke textx of a sexual nature. I found it difficilt to deal with initially, but as long as the texts dont get hidden or he suddenly starts acting differently the i would let it carry on.

They say you always know your partner, and when things started going wrong for me, i oticed lots of little chages in my partners behaviour, things that were hard to put a finger on but were there.

If the texts are purely jokes and thats that, let it go, but if your parner stat habit changing, hen be a little wary.

Tightwad - When i met my ex wife 20hmmmm years ago, an when i mert my partnet 3 years ago, both were slim busty and had lovely bodies. My ex piled weight on over the followeing years reaching 18 stone at one point, my current partner has from a 5 foot 3 8 stone girl to nearly 13 stone in the last 3 years.

As much as my ex wife mentally tortured me, I still saw the woman I fell in love with, the ame goes for my current partner, she is beautiful, has wonderful eyes and smile, so hat she has put on weight, she is still her.

Currently she is suffering and beating herself up about her weight and I have told her, its up to you whether you diet or not, I still love you no matter what. Her looks were only part of the package that made me fall for her. I love the way she looks now, then and always will.

Anything else would be very shallow.

That last post is very reassuring harrierhom - just hope you're being totally honest

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I have a few questions I would like to ask you, so kind of you to offer to help.
Why would someone not ever take photos of his wife. So he will take pics of all the kids, but never include the wife, and if she ever gets into any of the pic he deletes them. Why would he do this? Does he think she is ugly?
Why would he say all the children look like him and not like his wife?
Do men not notice when their wives are tired?
Why would a man suddenly become ill just as his wife has become pg/given birth/ got flu?
If a man says another woman's name during sex, is he likely to be having an affair, or is it possible it is just an innocent slip of the tongue?
Sorry to bombard you, and the answers are probably obvious.
Thanks in advance

squashimodo, I am not a man, but if your DH/DP is doing that to you, you do know it's abusive behviour?

if a man said he'd never see his dc again when you try to leave him would he mean it? or would he just say it so you don't break up?
why would a man move out one month after his baby is born, move to another town and still want a relationship? can he still want you after all that? if he shows no signs of finding you attractive and ignores you when you talk to him help why would he be so determined to stay in the relayionship? could he still really love you?
do men deep down honestly judge single mums?
thanks, sorry for so many.