foureleven - I wont be with someone who treats me like shit don't worry. I have no desire to fix "us" and what we had. I'm just trying to learn something from all this pain I guess because at the moment I feel a bit like "what is the point?" which is horrible. If it didn't work with him I don't get how it will work with anyone - I suppose time will help that; but I'm impatient!
Alarm bless, I don't want to fix myself - I want to understand what happened between us so that going forward I don't make the same mistakes I guess. "he's your ex for a reason, you don't get on". That's the confusing part, we do get on - when we spend time together - but we didn't spend enough time "getting on" I guess so we/he forgot how good we were.
"your relationship just ran its course" is it really that simple? Maybe that should by new mantra and I should quit this whole, trying to understand part.
Palomino29 - it sounds like there is more ot this situation that your husbands weight - is it also about you wanting to feel desired etc? I don't know what the answer is but it would only make sense to speak to your DH before you get stuck in some negative patterns. Maybe instead of telling him you're not attracted to him you could land the blow softly and say you'd be more attracted to him, if.... But I think these things are never that simple so explore your feelings really before you say anything.
Right. I'm sticking all this in a box and labelling it "this is nothing to do with me, it's over, get over it woman"
Thanks everyone! If you walk, talk and act like a duck - you'll eventually be a duck right!