Anyone with experience of Relationship Counselling??

[Notgettingon]

Things have come to a bit of a stalemate between DP and I regarding how we parent our 2 dcs.

Basically we have very different perspectives, we disagree on most things but ultimately as I am SAHM and have to do most of the parenting I do it mostly the way I see fit. This means he doesn't involve himself and finds it impossible to support me, other than saying that he supports my decisions - which he doesn't blah blah blah. On the other hand he feels totally overuled by me, feels like he has no proper role as a parent in the dcs lives. It is a constant underlying problem in our relationship and has been since DC1 was born (which provoked some very new and extreme reactions from both of us, and some down right terrible beahviour from him, but thats another story and I am starting to sound bitter and twisted! )

So, in our rational states we can see where things have gone wrong, but realistically we struggle to really make any changes and so the same cycle continues until something comes up and there is an almighty explosion from one of us. The most recent one occured in front of my in laws, not good.

We love each other dearly and get on brilliantly at other times. I adore him and hate that I can make him feel this way. I believe he feels the same way about me, he is a fantastic partner. But this one issue is becoming more and more massive so we have to deal with it.

So.. back to my original point. Has anyone got any experience of relationship therapy? If so was it useful and where did you go for help? I assume relate would be the first port of call but are there other organisations I should consider first.

Sorry for long post.... TIA!

Oh dear, what a difficult situation.

For what it's worth I am getting the feeling you're taking too much responsibility for 'making him' feel or do these things.

Tell us more - he blew up in front of his folks? Or was that you? No, that's really not good! What other 'terrible behaviour' are you talking about?

You don't sound bitter and twisted but it does sound as though there are some deeper issues involved here.

Therapy can help in some cases but it very much depends on what's going on and whether there is any sort of abuse involved.

Also, what sort of issues regarding the parenting? This rings alarm bells for me but I could be wrong.

Hope you come back to this and perhaps some of us can help.

Yes I think it would be very helpful for you.
It sounds like you have figured out what the problem is, you just need some mediation.
Counsellors can do this very well.
first couple of sessions can be " getting to know you" but i found it very helpful for pointing out who was being unreasonable. and DH took it on board too