how do you deal with silly annoying habits

[whatname]

Things that drive you crazy? Or things that drive him crazy?
Do you tell them nicely that it annoys you and please try to stop doing it. do they listen, or doe
Does it just go straight over their head?
E.g DH hates it when I put coats or bags on the banister. So I try not to do it. But I have asked him not to come in and put all his stuff on the kitchen worktop, but he still does it all the time, and rolls his eyes!!

Well I still haven't managed to stifle DH's inner slob despite what feels like 100 years of marriage, and I still get irritated as hell about it. There are still snotty tissues on the carpet on his side of the bed, FFS.

I think you have to pick your battles - have a real go about the stuff that is unhygienic or dangerous or really impacts your life, and learn to live with the more trivial annoyances. With the big stuff - persistence is the key. He can eye-roll as much as he likes - just keep chipping away.

When DH annoys me I take a deep breath and consider the many millions of ways in which I must annoy him.

If something drives us batty enough we try and talk about it. But to be honest to not annoy each other ever would be a little dull I think - like living with yourself

hassled are you married to my DH?

I'm the same, he gets annoyed if I type or chew too loudly (have to say this is totally him being a freak not me stuffing food into my face with my gob wide open) so I do what I can not to piss him off....but his dirty socks, pants, snotty tissues are everywhere unless I clean them up and he only washes up etc if I ask him to (but then he does at least do it)

Shit on his pillow.

@ ohExpletive kind of made mine and the offices day that did.

what has he done to deserve that OhExpletive??!!

DH does this thing where he sort of sticks his tongue in his lower lip...or has his mouth open like a village idiot...or is always doing this gurning thing where he prods his molars with his tongue.

I want to mow him down with a kalashnikov.

But I think maybe I've just become utterly hyper-senstive to any movement the poor bloke makes with his mouth (I could NOT watch Gordon Brown speaking on the telly because of his mouth thing.)

So it's my problem, not his, I just grit my teeth and avert my gaze.

After dp has eaten he'll sit watching tv sucking his teeth. OMG.

I snapped the other day and said 'I'm going to get you some toothpicks' and he seems to have calmed it down a bit since then.

Yuk.

You see this is why I live alone, well with the DC. I am easily irritated. Cannot stand an annoying colleague atm but to actually live with someone who annoys me would be too much to bear .

jill my dp does this when he is 'concentrating' needless to say it doesn't happen that often!

Monty, my dp does the teeth sucky thing ALL the time, it drives me insane. But his most annoying habit is putting heavy, hard things down on top of soft, fragile things. Like putting a packet of Daz on top of a lettuce in a shopping trolley, or putting the hoover away on top of my FitFlops. Or putting a roof rack on top of a pile of freshly ironed clothes (don't ask). He does it all the time and it makes me weep with frustration. I've tried explaining it but he just thinks I'm nuts. I think it might be a bit passive aggressive, frankly. Makes me want to put a big heavy rock down on top of him. Hard.

Just try to make your peace with it. I have developed an attitude of humor about how "interesting" my dh would be in a zoo exhibit.

His foot/leg shakes-almost like a dissipation of energy escaping...drove me nuts for years. "Honey, do ya gotta pee?" I asked him to stop with irritation evident and he did, for a while. I tried wiggling my foot too-solidarity?- and damn if it didn't almost become a habit with me! So I just ignore it now.

at OhExpletive!

Trouble is, if I did that, I swear he'd return the "favour"!

DH's worst - singing. Loudly, repetitively (usually just a short phrase), the wrong bloody words, or Yabba Dabba (AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!) I try all sorts of approaches, none seem to work. He thinks it sounds great - my pointing out that he should try being my side of it, that he isn't great, that he's going to end up with a knife between his ribs don't work; nor does asking piteously why he hates me, when does he want me to have my breakdown, who would leave the house when we divorce. Telling him to shutup seems to be the most effective but has to be repeated so often that now even DS has started saying it(and he's only 2.6!)

Most other things aren't too much of an issue - the physical things I refuse to do for him, I just threaten that things left out/ on the floor will be thrown away (razors, shaving foam, socks, jumpers) and do put them in the bin for him to retrieve; or I make him come and move them instantly.

In the end, as someone else said, Pick Your Battles - the noise pollution actually scrapes the inside of my skin raw, so that IS my battle - the rest (unless it's dangerous to DS) goes by the board.

I am still laughing at Otterly dropping the rock, hard. lol.

Eve - mine doesn't even live with me!

You could try asking him what you do that really annoys him (there's bound to be something apart from the bannisters thing. You are married after all).

Then promise faithfully not to do it for two weeks if he promises not to do whatever-pisses-you-off for the same period.

Might become a habit then.

oh, I do lots of things to annoy him, all of which I think are perfectly fine, and he tells me, so I will try not to do it. but he never tries. he just carries on doing what he wants!

Yes, but you've got to bargain, not just stop doing the thing that bugs him.

If you make a deal together, and he breaks his side, you immediately start to break yours.

It sounds passive-aggressive on paper (perhaps it is), but I think if it's done openly and with explanation on each side, it can work.

Most of the stuff I used to find intolerable with DH I now don't even notice.

Or I tell myself not to sweat it.

But some things are just too annoying.

I'd dearly love to have a story to share with you about the pillow thing, but I'm afraid I don't. DP has no annoying habits. Mainly because he's aware of how I might deal with them - you have to nip these things in the bud

jillhastwoponies*
DH does this thing where he sort of sticks his tongue in his lower lip...or has his mouth open like a village idiot...or is always doing this gurning thing where he prods his molars with his tongue.

I want to mow him down with a kalashnikov.

But I think maybe I've just become utterly hyper-senstive to any movement the poor bloke makes with his mouth (I could NOT watch Gordon Brown speaking on the telly because of his mouth thing.)

So it's my problem, not his, I just grit my teeth and avert my gaze.

I could have written this, word for bloody word!

Oh I habe one of these DH too, of course we all have irritating habits but what relaly bugs me is when you make a real effort with things your DP/DH has told you are annoying him and he does absolutly shite buggery all about things which annoy/ upset you!

Mine does a snorty snot throat clearing thing -and then a pause- and then a spit -ding- into the loo EVERY morning. It makes me shudder every time.

Also the foot wiggling thing.

Tissues by the side of the bed. Dont know whats in them.

And every time he goes to answer the phone, he pauses and says "Are you in?" And I always go "YES !!"

exactly halia

onedge, made me laugh with the phone thing!