should I go and front it out??

[fishingboat]

I've been invited to a birthday party tomorrow at a friends house, the thing is there's going to be a couple of mums from school there that don't like me. (Have posted some posts for advice about this previously).

My thoughts are now should I go or not, been having counselling sessions because doctor thinks I struggle with assertiveness I know she would say ''That s their problem not yours, but I still have doubts!!

The friend who invited me knows there s problems between us but she still invited me and my little one anyway.

Advice please not sure what to do!!!

Hi fishingboat

I know just how hard it can be to have to face up to people that you think don't like you as I've had to do it myself.

I haven't seen your previous posts so I dont know the history of this but (and I know it's easy for me to say this) the best thing that you can do is go and enjoy the party and try not to let it bother you.

There are millions of people in this world and so we can't really expect all of them to like us!! I am sure that there are people that you see socially that you aren't really that fond of but you probably don't go out of your way to make them aware of that fact. hopefully these women won't do that either.

And if they do............ sod the bitches, enjoy the party and make like you couldn't give a shit what they think!!!

xx

anymore advice please??

Go along and be brave. Why shouldnt you go. . .its THEIR problem if they dont like you. Ignore any snide comments. Just be yourself, be nice and know that deep down you are an ok person. Can i ask why you think they dont like you ??

I would go, dont say anything to them, if they start talking a bout you, as you can notice these things, just look the other, show them that they dont bother you, its their problem not yours afterall. hope it goes ok and come back and let us know how it goes.

maltesers, it s such along story bascically
I fell out with friend 1 a few years ago She involved our children at school that was it for me ( I might add I'm not the only person to have ever had a falling out with her).

She willng speak but only when it suits (no love loss between us). The other has just gone from talking to me to totally ignoring me full stop. I could see this building for a few weeks I would always say hello when I saw her but the other day she totally blanked me and she was beside me!!! It will be somebody told her i.e XX has said, I can't think what else it can be.

These women totally intimedate me they are so full of confidence and I'm not!!

I went to assertiveness classes and it really helped. Keep going to them , they will be good and give you the confidence to know how to deal with bullies and intimidating people..
If these other mums make any comments and you feel really annoyed, then be assertive and say something like, "I find your comments unpleasant/rude/hurtful". (owning your own feelings)" and i would appreciate it if you kept comments like that to yourself"
Thats the best you can do. Dont be aggressive , and be rude. Nor, should you be passive and creep shyly into a corner.

thank you maltesers yes the classes have helped me loads, have been having one on one sessions but I'm on the waiting list for group classes. Thank you for your advice most of the time I know in my head how to handle these situations but then fear creeps in!!