My hypochondriac mum might actually have cancer [sad]

[poshsinglemum]

Have recently posted about my hypochondriac mum.
DShe has had a mouth ulcer for weeks and said that she thought she had mouth cancer and would die within the year. She went to the doctor and is being referred and now I have read that on eof the symptoms of mouth cancer is a bad ulcer.
I am very sad and I feel guilty but I am also very stressed about my mum and her illnessess as she burdens me with them and I cannot cope. Then I feel like I should look after her as she's my mum but I have a toddler.
Ever since dd has been born she hasn't worked but has sat around feeling sorry for herself.
I feel sad, angry, knackered and scared for her.
We have a bad relationship but I do love her and I don't want her tio be ill.

Hi,
I work with head and neck cancers. Can start with an ulcer that won't respond to antibiotics. Most patients do very well with surgery and /or radiotherapy, sometimes laser treatment, especially if caught in the early stages. They'll check whether it is being caused by trauma, from a sharp tooth, for example and may do a biopsy. Cancers of the mouth are usually caught early because of the early symptoms, so the outcome is usually positive. Will watch this thread to see what the outcome is.

Know it's hard but try not to worry at this stage.

SK

Hi SpiritualKnot- that's very reassuring. What worries me most is my mum's attitude. As she got increasingly worried about the ulcer she told herself she was going to die. She needs to think positive but she is just too ready to give up.

The doctors and other staff see this type of patient a lot, so will be able to reassure her. I only see the ones who are found to have cancer so don't know how many have the consultants see that turn out not to be cancer.

Your GP sounds very good to have referred so quickly, some patients have had an ulcer for months and months before they're referred to a specialist.

I find the consultants and staff that work in the maxillo facial departments to be incredibly easy to speak to, they work with such a wide variety of people, from little sweet little old ladies who've never drunk a drop of alcohol or smoked in their life to hardened drug addicts who turn up barely sober for their appointment.

Will you be going with her for the appointment? They tend to see them quite quickly as the sooner they're treated the better.

SK

Hi, I saw your other thread. I wish you and your mum all the best, sk is right, the Maxillo people are really approachable and will explain everything to you all should the time come. Don't blame yourself, your mum has put a lot of pressure on you in the past and you can't predict the future. Support your mum but give yourself time to deal with things too- find someone to lean on. Wishing you all the best x