Hi ladies,you're all such a supportive bunch, I would be grateful for any advice you have.
My BF is married to a rotter. He's controlling and tight with money. He has planned out the next 20 years of her life. He wants to move out of where they currently live, to be closer to his parents - so that's what they are doing. Her parents live near where they are now, but they dont' seem to matter. They got married last October - decided to get married about 18 months before that, but he wouldn't allow her to tell anyone (except me) until he was good and ready. No good reason, just said he didnt' want to 'play into people's hands' (what ever that means!)by announcing it early.
In the past, he made a nice comment about a birthday pressie I had bought her. I made a flippant comment about what a nightmare she is to buy for and he said 'well, we'll soon beat that out of her', accompanied by fist-to-palm gesture. I am a domestic violence survivor and he knows this - felt physically sick all the way home from her party. My DP is convinced he made this comment deliberately to wind me up, but I can't be sure. So in short, not a nice guy.
So the thorny issue of bubbas has come up..... She is not at all sure that it's for her, but when she asked him (just 2 months before wedding, not v smart) how sure he was about being a parent, he said '100%;. That's it. As she said herself, 'he wants children so it's not up for discussion'. I could scream.
I feel she is just sleepwalking through the whole thing. Have told her I'm very worried about her and she just laughed it off and said that her life is with him, this is what he wants, not up for discussion blahblah. Sorry ladies, just venting, but any thoughts/support would be very much appreciated!