Does anyone else talk too much? how to stop?

[HousewifeOfOrangeCounty]

I know I talk too much with people I don't know that well, I often get in the car afterward and cringe at how much I rambled on. Sometimes I'll be going somewhere and on the way I keep telling myself to be quiet, let other people speak, not fill silences etc. I rarely achieve it .

I've recently moved into a new area and have avoided getting to know people because of it, but I would like to make some local friends.

Does anyone have any ideas of how I can stop myself rabbiting on?

You're not alone, I think most people do that if they're shy/nervous. I certainly know that I do it!

No real idea how you stop doing it, sorry!

Whereabouts have you moved to?

I do it a lot

I talk too much and I tell people too much.

I also cringe afterwards.

Each time I start a new project (usually every 6 months) I say to myself that I won't tell the project team everything about me, but I rarely manage it

I have found it helps to ask a lot of questions to other people, and resist telling them your "answer" unless they ask you.

Also try and force yourself to give general information, not detailled. That way, once you've said the general stuff, if you start going into detail afterwards you realise that you're repeating yourself and stop (hopefully)

Good luck!!!

I do it too. I also laugh at the end of every sentence. And I tell people massively innapropriate things. It wasn't too bad when I was younger, but now I am into my 30's I think this habit has lost any charm it once had!

Asking people questions is a good idea. I have tried to put into practice, but I normally end up talking about blue pooh and cackling.

Where are you? We could practice the art of normal conversation

No idea, I do it all of the time AND I say things I know I shouldn't....I hear myself but can't stop. I have no self censorship and tell relative strangers things about myself that I'm sure they would rather not know!

Glad to see it's not just me!!

i have this... but add to it a kind of nervous tourette's where i start swearing like a trouper and burst into laughter at anything that could even slightly be taken as a sexual innuendo

Whilst being served by a man with a very very bad stammer, I said 'thank you that's lovely lovely lovely lovely'.....so stupid.

It is a form of social anxioety I think, well it is with me.
What I have realised is that it comes from my worrying thatthey won't like me so I try too hard and feel responsible for every break in conversation.

What I try to do now that I am a bit older is to remember that people like those that ask about THEM. So if I sense I am talking too much I just try and ask some questions. It helps.
Even if I still talk a lot, at least I have not made the other person feel like they weren't invloved at all

@Salfresco - sorry, but BLUE POOH???? Please tell us more!

oh i talk the ear off everyone, especially if i havent spoken to anyone all day (work at home and have small kids), then Ill go up the school and RANT at anyone that vaguely looks my way!
Ah well, asking questions is a good idea.
I think it is preferable to those people who stand about looking miserable and like thay hate everyone though....

Marking space to read advice later...

Phew

I was worried that there was only one response a few hours ago, so assumed I must be nuts. Very pleased to see there are others out there - I think I've got worse as I've got older, but it could be due to too much time with dc's and not enough with adults.

I have tried asking questions, but somehow I still end up oversharing. Today I knew I be asked about a course I did and I told myself not to say that I'd been nominated for a gold certificate as it'd sound like bragging. Naturally I found myself saying everything I told myself not to .

Clearly I'd out myself if I say where I am as I'm new to the area as easily identified as the nutter who talks to much, so will manage to keep that quiet.

I think thats exactly what it is, housewifeooc, not enough adults - thats definitely my problem!
Oh, i also do that alot too, listen to what others are saying then somehow start talking about MY experience of whatever theyre talking about, I have to really rein myself in and make myself get back to them! awful!!
youre not nuts though, I have had this conversation with so many other mums who say they do the same, its pretty normal when youre at home without anyone to talk to all day

I talk far too often, and come out with some right tripe just to fill the "space". Tend to realise I'm rambling about five minutes in, mentally kick myself, then several minutes later find I'm doing it again

I think I always thought that talking about your own experiences of something the other person is discussing was a good thing, as you are being supportive of their anecdote, but now I realise that it just makes you look self-obsessed I try really hard to ask questions, as I am genuinely interested in other people, but then I worry I am interrogating them, and revert back to a blue pooh tale!

gingerkirsty - the blue pooh was the result of a birthday cake made for my son by a bakery - they used some intense colouring in the icing, and anyone who ate more than a mouthful of it was greeted next time they had a bowel movement, with a bright blue turd. Looking at it was unsettling; wiping was genuinely disturbing. Now, in the right setting, this can be a funny story - but more often, I realise I am talking to a virtual stranger about my pooh, and indeed the poohs of my friends and relations. Then I get on a sort of pooh roll and can't stop. The other day I found myself talking about FIL's colostomy bag. FFS.

lol

Housewife feels so much better now.

Oh I do.
I ramble on and on.
And on.

I'm also a rambling jibber jabberer.

And another thing I do is try to come out with funny stuff, witty little quips etc. in inappropriate circumstances.

If you go on a course at work, and there is one smart arse in the group that keeps heckling the trainer and trying to be a smart arse... that's me, that is.

As far back as I can remember I have talked too much. It was on my primary school reports how much of a chatterbox I was, I was in the debating team and ALWAYS had an argument and when we go out to eat I am always last to finish because I am always talking.

I tell myself not to hog the conversation, or fill silences but I just get lots of things in my head that I have to get out when I hear other people say things!

Anyway sometimes it is nerves, sometimes I am really interested in the topic and other times it is just because I am opinionated!

Ok - finished now!

Housewife, I am the opposite. I prefer to keep my counsel. You don't know how grateful I am if someone else is prepared to do the talking, whatever it is they might say. I am very forgiving.

Just thought you might like to know that rabbiting on is not a liability.

I am exactly the same - I have also been been described as a chatterbox my whole life (my DS is the same!!).

I am always telling myself don't talk to much, ask more questions - really the same as all the above posts! Also do the cringey when I think about how much I talk sometimes.

I have no advice to give but it does make me feel better that I am not the only one like this!

SalFresco I LOVE your blue poo story

I'm another one who never shuts up. Chatterbox!

Why thank you! Sometimes, there is a place for pooh stories

If I notice I'm doing it (or, better still, notice I'm tense and might do it), I take a deep breath and take my time.

It also helps that I've ended up with a bit of active listening training, which does wonders.

Talking too much? Never!

#cough#

I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, going "oh god" at things I've just remembered I said 30 years ago - and I'm still saying them. One of XH's comments, when he was going through a phase of claiming to be glad we were separating, was "you always have something to say". They could put that on my tombstone.

I comfort myself by thinking I'm not quite as bad as my sister, who caused a random diner to move to the far end of a restaurant when she insisted on telling me, in ringing tones, about her friend's daughter's badly handled diabetic emergency. I don't even want to think about veins at the best of times, let alone while I'm eating, thank you. But saying you don't want to discuss it just makes her speak faster - so you don't need to hear about it any longer than you have to, I think. And then when I've finally been really fierce about NOT WANTING TO HEAR IT, she says ok ok, subject closed, but can't resist one more sentence...