New Nightie

[Boe]

Bit of a delicate question???

Have bought a new nightie (La Senza had a sale!!) is cute black and there is not much of it!!! Thought would go down well as is first weekend ever with DP that we have not had a 2 year old around!!

He is planning on going for a nice drive in country, having scrummy lunch, going for a nice walk, coming home going to fab italian in Chislehurst and then coming home and getting dirty!!

Thing being is that I have now bought this thing and don't know what to do - think should warn him (may keel over otherwise) but do not know what to say - don't even know if I have the courage to wear it now, and if I don't warn him am a bit worried about what he will say if I just waltz in wearing it!!

I am a 28 year okld mother who is getting divorced and am not a beginner in this sort of thing but am a complete sap when it comes to being all assertive and sexy!!! Not really sure what to do????

Don't tell him that you've bought the nightie... just tell him you have a surprise for him and that he won't see it until bedtime.

Then walk into the bedroom wearing it... he'll love it!

Sounds like a fantastic weekend by the way. You deserve it and you deserve to get away from all the trauma you've had lately regarding you horrible ex-H.

I'm sure he'll be thrilled if you waltz in wearing it! Not sure whether to warn him about it as the element of surprise is a good start to the proceedings . Unless of course he is extremely shy/embarrassed about such garments - then you could warn him I guess

Enjoy your weekend !

Boe, I'm a 40 year old mother getting divorced and the it took a long time for me not to be embarrassed about showing someone my ' i have had 3 children and it shows' body!! Still a bit shy in that dept, but I could manage a nightie, I think the secret of your success will be enough booze to provide a bit of dutch courage but not too much thath your both falling over. go for it girl!! Good luck

La Senza had a sale!!? How did I miss that one? Is it still on Boe?

Yes is still on - in Old Broad Street anyway (C of L).

Not the body I am worried about - he has seen enough of that and I have to say is not too awful, few stretch marks & small bb's (but he loves me!!) - and will get better with all these blooby sit ups & red & green days!!

Just the whole sort of pre-planned thing that makes me feel like a bit of a hussie - and the nightie is see through - if it was jersey with a cat on I would have no probs!!

Boe - is feeling like a hussy not all part of the fun?

God yes - but domineering father who made me feel shameful about things like that and rather catholic upbringing surrounded by Nuns!!!

DP is also a bit shy about certain things and he won't even talk about 'it' with the light on - we have these big conversations when he cannot see me!!

His first time was quite traumatic and it had sort of had big effect on him - he has to go to a counselor still and it was 14 years ago!!

Blimey Boe you should see my bod these days, loads of stretch marks and my lovely shelf-like tummy. We recently went away for the weekend and I bought a lovely La Senza silk nightie which went down a treat. I rather like the feeling nervous bit, makes it all seem rather new and exciting! Plus hides the tum/marks.

GO FOR IT!!

Sorry, just read your last post - if he is nervous why don't you just show him the nightie in an off-hand way and say that you liked it and saw it in the sale so you have bought it for yourself (not for him). You could even wear it before going away so he could get used to it??

Also Lilibet's idea about the booze is a good one, should get rid of both of your inhibitions if you have a few!

Boe - that sounds awful for you and your dp! Maybe like Sambo says, you could show him it first.

not wanting to get too personal here, but is he the type of man who likes to see you in nice underwear?

He thought not taking pants off during the deed was majorly exciting!!! Not sure he is gonna be able to cope with this!!! Has seemed pleased when have worn red ones before!!

He does not say much really - other than when prompted and is dark, as I said he had a horrible experience (lost 3 pints of blood his first time) and think is a bit shy about it all!!!

Boe - I suspect that deep down your dp knows that he must be the luckiest man in the world to have someone who cares to please him like you clearly do (and to please yourself - that's important too!). Why not tell him that you've got something nice for your weekend, and would he like to see you in it first, or would he like it to be a surprise? My dh said that it was a terrific turn-on whenever he realised that I'd planned and prepared things for him, IYSWIM.

I do want to please him - it is just so hard - he has hang ups about all sorts of things to do with this - and I am sure you don't want me to go into the details. I do to a certain extent but it is more to do with confidence than anything else and worry that he is going to think bad of me. He has odd opinions about women somethimes and was quite surprised to find out that you could breastfeed from both boobs even!!

He does sometimes get a bit talkative and told me his last girlfriend di not really like sex but he was prepared to put up with it just so that he had a girlfriend and was not lonely. I know this sounds like he is a complete saddo but that could not be further from the truth - 6ft, brown hair, very attractive face, blue eyes, nice bod, nice other bits, successful, caring (to an unbelieveable degree), generous, funny, intelligent, sporty, intuitive and supportive. Has own house and has taken my daughter on as his own from the moment he met her although has none of his own and I know he would dearly love to but would not dream of pressuring me. I have been with him for about 8 months - maybe a bit more and he said that he has done it more with me than with anyone else ever and he is 32 years old!! He also said that he has only slept with 4 people in his life - which I found odd at that age but he means it when he says he has to have feelings before entering into a physical relationship. Sorry to go into details but sometimes I understand and sometimes I don't, he is sort of opening up and being himself but there is always this part of him that thinks he is not doing well enough and he only has to please me???

Not sure what any of this means but if Dr Ruth is out there can you read this and give me some advice!!! Sorry for being a bit open about this too - soooo glad I know none of you and cannot see your faces!!

Oh my god - not sure if could venture out without pants on!!! And have never even worn suspenders!!

Boe Boe Boe, come on girly! Be girly! Nothing nicer than the wind up yer skirt...

Don't find suspenders v comfy though!

Asked bf what he would do, I know the situation is different, but he would be thrilled to bits with that sort of surprise. Depends how well you know him for the no knickers in a public place scenario, never done it myself, well never started the night like that
BTW when does a bf become a dp?

I think that unless a person who has had very few sexual relationships/experiences has a lot of self-confidence, they can feel awkward about sex, because it seems to be assumed that as soon as puberty is over we should be doing it left-right-and-centre with zillions of partners. When we were in our late 20's early 30's my best friend was astonished when I asked her advice about a sexual matter to learn that I was still virgin at that age, and likewise I was astonished that she had only had sex for the first time the year before. So if your dp is relatively inexperienced, plus possibly traumatised, plus possibly a little ignorant (I don't mean that nastily) then he may be finding it even harder because of what he thinks is expected of him. It's nice that he wants to please you - perhaps you're both trying too hard? Perhaps a little quiet pillow talk about the pleasure of pleasing each other, and about the pleasure of letting go and letting the other give you the pleasure without worrying that you must reciprocate, would be in order? What would I know - I'm no expert (or should that be 'sexpert' sorry, dreadful pun) you just sound such a nice couple.

So, how did it go?

Yes, I'm interested to hear too!

Ashamed to say that it stayed in the pretty box that I got it in.

Did have a really good time, did all sorts of couply thnigs together - looked around antique shops for one which is always out of the question with a mad 3yr old attached to me. Had a wonderful meal in The Bull in Otford (Anyone who lives in Kent or SE Ldn you must go there, Otford is beautiful and the food in The Bull is superb!!)

Went home and layed undisturbed in the garden until quite late and then had major migrane as had not drunk enough fluids throughout the day.

Sunday woke up and DP went to golf, I did the cleaning - can never be alone and not do anything!! Then we had a nice lazy afternoon in the garden and in the bedroom - just never got the courage up to address the point!!

Oh well - will get spankingly drunk one day and just do it!!

Sorry to disapoint you all - I will put out a big alert on mumsnet as soon as it happens!!!

The heck with the nightie, then - sounds like you had a lovely time!

God - was a lovely time and was a bit tipsy on Sunday so had fun then!!

Will get nightie out when feel brave enough - am going swimming tonight and going to Slimming World tomorrow night so may say that will pry it out of its box once I have lost the half a stone am dragging around with me covering my tum!!

oh Boe, what a funny and sweet thread! When I first got together with my man I wore a Barbra Windsor style (!) nightie, had a push up bra and was totally ridiculous. I went over to his flat that he shared with 3 guys and we were having a DVD evening so I had a tracksuit on with this nightie thing tucked into the track pants. When we went up to bed and were getting undressed he had the shock of his life, it was so funy. We had a very good night though inbetween bouts of giggling! I was really nervous about it though as I'm a lot more upfront as far as sex goes so didn't know what reaction I'd get. Hysterical laughter wasn't quite what I'd expected but it was all good.
Glad you had a good weekend. Who needs nighties when you have a kind and loving man who loves you for the person you are. if and when it does come out of the box hope it's a lovley night/ afternoon!?