Anyone else feel guilty about being dependant on DH (pregnancy related)

[JamieJay]

I've always been very independant, quite practical/strong and been able to just get on with most things.

I've been lucky and so far found pregnancy pretty easy but since 30 weeks (now 32) pregnancy is catching up with me, not helped by a UTI making me feel crap. I've also got to start watching my blood pressure so have no choice but to take it easy.

DH spent all day yesterday being bossed around, he has no problem at all with this and did so without a murmur.

However I feel guilty - I'm nesting like crazy and have a huge list of things to do (today I want us to sort out the path to the back gate which isn't essential, will take a few hours and be bloody hard work!)

Has anyone got any advice as to how I can get passed this - I feel guilty for giving DH endless jobs but then get frustrated and (dare I admit it) grumpy if things aren't done so the poor man can't win.......

Oh, that is pretty standard stuff, I was absolutely crazy about house maintenance/jobs in the later stages of my pregnancies. Just try to take a deep breath, and recognise it as a side-effect, it makes it easier to deal with for you and him!

But try to focus your energies on something else, whether that's getting out for a little stroll or gentle swim, or a meal out, so it's not all staring at the broken path/griping about dusting.

Thanks wondering, this nesting lark is all consuming isn't it!!

A bit of exercise might actually make me feel a bit better - will see if DH fancies a swim with a lunch treat afterwards.......

I'm assuming this is your first?
I would take this time to spend quality time with him tbh - go to the cinema, out for lunches, chill out together
you can boss him about fir the first six weeks when you're stuck to the sofa feeding

I know, I obsessed over the tidiness of the airing cupboard! Because I couldn't reach to do it myself, I just thought and thought about it.

You should see the state of it now

Poor dh is hoovering out car, he has already cleaned the bathroom and put on a load of washing. Later he plans to strim the garden. But I didn't ask him to do any of this -just dropped huge hints

compo - yes our first, how did you guess?!

stupid - DH doesn't react to hints, he likes a list, which he will then complete with no complaints so it is my problem totally!

Maybe I need to attitute change here, a couple of jobs each weekend morning and then spend the afternoon doing something fun, I'm so fixated on getting the perfect house that I'm forgetting how busy life will be when LO arrives

Tell your DH to be thankful he made it to 32 weeks relatively unscathed, I am 18 weeks my DH has 2 weeks off coming up and I have a list of tasks/DIY for him to do.

Your perfect house won't last once your baby arrives! Embrace chaos now, makes it much easier all round

I feel desperately guilty too -- the worst thing is that DH is so kind to me and refuses to let me do anything, when I can see how burdensome it is for him (we really do have to redecorate before the LO arrives as we need to put the house on the market!)

I feel the same way. Am 38 weeks pregnant now and finding I can't do a lot of things (or not easily/without tiring) so I'm asking a lot of OH, then I feel guilty for doing it. For example he's had to strip and wallpaper the nursery, then paint half of it, then clean the carpet. He insisted on me not doing anything (and I have tried to support with hot drinks and food!) but I can see how worn out he is after work. At the same time, I just want it done before the baby comes! I tell him all the time how much I appreciate it though.(and it's my first too)

I felt the same way on dc1 it wasn't helped by the fact that I spent most of it in hospital and the rest bed bound and had to be constantly supervised, . Dp was great though and I didn't make it easy I was constantly trying to get up.

But on a second it is easier I actually enjoyed letting the reins go on dc2 and being cared for granted I had a good pg and didn't need that much caring.

I think it is natural to feel guilty and frightened when being dependent for the first time.

I woke up at 8am and started cleaning out the kitchen cupboards the day I went into labour... you can't fight those nesting instincts, just go with it!

It's a tough one isn't it, I've left DH in bed this morning to enjoy a lie in and have turned my energy to scrubbing the oven

Think I'll take him out to lunch and have a good long chat about my crazy nesting and see if we can come up with a plan of action for the next few weeks - won't get everything done but will stop me alternating between obsessing and feeling guilty!

I'm ignoring all comments about choas after the baby's born - I'm going to be the uber yummy mummy with a perfect baby, clean house and stunning outfits (yeah right!)