Divorce settlement advice

[imtheonlyone]

Hi. I'm new to this but looking for some advice on how best to get what I want and need from my mortgage settlement.

My ex husband and I are currently trying to battle out the financial side of our divorce. We were married for 6 years and have 2 children aged 5 and 2 both of whom live with me. We have a family home which I have moved out of into rented accommodation because I couldn't stand to live with him any longer and the house is on the market but yet to sell. He is currently paying all the bills for the house as he continues to live there.

He is a builder and owns his own business, this means that he declares his earnings to be minimum wage and then pays himself dividends throughout the year. He also takes a lot of cash jobs and there was always plenty of cash around the house when we were together so am suspecting that there is now! We have agreed for now that he doesn't pay maintenance as he is supporting the matrimonial home. That said, I gave up my very well paid job in order to bring up our children and never returned to work the whole time we were together. Now that we are sseparated he is suggesting that I should contribute although I never have done in the past! It was a joint decision for me not to work!

Last year his parents signed their house over to him and therefore he now owns their house outright. Although it's no mansion, it's something that by law should be taken into account in the settlement of the divorce. He has requested that it not be taken into account but I am insisting that it is. My solicitor says that because of this, I have a good case for getting 100% of the equity in the matrimonial home once it is sold - there is probably circa £80k in it which won't even realistically buy me anywhere for me and 2 children anyway! I know he will suggest that I go to my mum and ask her for money because she is fairly well off but don't see that that should be taken into account? He also has pensions that he paid into before we met and wants me to leave those out of the settlement as well, He has offered mt 60% of the equity! My solicitor and I are trying to put together an offer after hainvg sought advice from a barrister who reckons that I will get 100%. I do need to see if I can get a mortgage though. I have recently started working as a slimming wolrd consultant which is self employed and I have only done it for 9 months so have no accounts to prove my income! This is going to make it difficult to get a mortgage anywhere I am presuming - although i would only be looking for a small mortgage and will have a large deposit supposing that I get the 100% it seems I am entlitled to.

Wondered whether anyone had any pearls of wisdom to offer in terms of advice/have you been through something similar. Is there something else I could be doing to strengthen my case? Does anyone know any good places for mortgages for self employed people who haven't worked very long?

Thanks x

Your parents wealth or properties, future possible inheritance is not taken into account - he can't use that against you and they possibly change in the future.

I have been advised to definately get a settlement with a cut of the future pension in it.

DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM

Be guided by your solicitor and don't feel sorry for him - you may soften and agree to something that jeopardises your future financial stability.

I know how you are feeling, I have left too with the kids - ex is in the marital home paying utilities etc.

It's the best thing I have ever done, but I wish the house would sell and then we can carry on properly. xxxx

As Theyremybiscuits says, your parents wealth is neither here nor there. His parents house is part of the assets and must be taken into account. Similarly his pensions. You have several options to consider regarding his pensions - a cut of the future pension may not be the best option for you.

You are going to have to prove your income in order to get a mortgage. However, it sounds like it will take at least 3 months to sort out your divorce so that may not be such a problem.

He will have to pay child maintenance. If you can't agree that between you, you can refer the case to the CSA. However, as he only draws minimum wage from his business and does a lot of cash jobs, you may have a long battle to get what you and your children are entitled to.

Ideally you want to negotiate as much as possible between yourselves. If this ends up going to court you may find that a significant chunk of the assets of the marriage are taken up in paying legal fees, leaving less for you and your ex. Take your solicitors advice but don't let your solicitor do the negotiating unless there really is no other option.

If I were you I would leave your ex in no doubt that you are prepared to take the whole thing to court if necessary. I would imagine the cash jobs mean he is guilty of tax evasion, so that is something else you can hold over his head.