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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Me

6 replies

mygraine · 02/06/2010 16:21

I have been lurking for months and have written many threads, only to delete them. All of a sudden I seem to have a need to actual go through with this. Perhaps writting this down will make things clearer in my mind.
Won't go into details as they are mainly not really important. But reading many of your stories I have realised that I am important. As we all are.
I live with my DH and he mainly ignores me. I do not get cuddles, kisses or presents. He does not prevent me from buying myself whatever I want. (I do work full time), but he will never think that something might please me.
We spend time together, do things, meet people, that sort of thing.
But I am like a plant, I need love and care. All of a sudden I know that if he meets someone else, or whatever, I don't really care anymore.
I have been making myself ill worrying about whether he loves me, loves me not, and now, lightbulb time. I don't care anymore. The kids are grown-up, married and parents themselves.
If ever I met someone else (even though I'm not looking, yet) I would tell him and leave.
It has come as a relief to know that I can and will manage. I'm not selfish, I do deserve to be loved.
And thank you ladies (and gents) for writing all your posts.
They make you think and get your priorities right. However long it may take and whatever our different stories are. But in the end, you all of a sudden realise that you are worth more than "this".
THank you and have a lovely day.

OP posts:
ILoveGregoryHouse · 02/06/2010 16:24

I hope things work out for you. Good to see you have been through a thought process that made you realise your self worth and, most importantly, will now do something about.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 02/06/2010 16:24

If you want to leave, leave. You don't need to go straight from one man to another. Sounds like time alone might be beneficial for you.

lazarusb · 02/06/2010 20:49

Wishing you luck. Coming to a decision like that is very empowering, stay strong.

noshouting · 02/06/2010 21:18

Could not read and run, you deserve the life that you can make for yourself, set yourself free and enjoy the adventures that will come your way.

JimmyTarbuck · 02/06/2010 21:33

You sound like a strong, intelligent woman to me. Good luck and enjoy your life. We are a long time dead.

meandollie · 02/06/2010 21:37

So happy for you and your eureka moment! fab is totally right though - time on your own sounds completely necessary for you. Don't feel like you have to have another relationship at the ready if you're unhappy with the one you have. Leave and enjoy the freedom to be your self with your self.

You're completely right - you deserve to be doubtless in the love a relationship holds for you.

Go be happy!

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