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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really upset and confused, bad date

24 replies

exhaustedandconfused · 02/06/2010 11:16

I have been seeing someone for around 3 months and although most of the time its been great there have been a couple of incidents which have totally put me off like one time I invited him around for dinner, night was going well, I went to toilet and there was this almighty bang on the bathroom door, my heart skipped a beat and then he started kicking and punching the door and shouting that he needed a shit and I had to hurry etc. It was so frightening I actually stayed in there 20 minutes. I told him it was over then and he apologised, bought me flowers, said it was a stupid joke and he was just trying to make me jump (he did! I almost fell off the toilet) and he managed to talk me around. I didnt see him for 3 weeks and after that everything went ok for a while and then he had another mad turn and I said it was over again. Anyway to cut long story short, I gave him one more chance and he invited me around to his mums house last night for a meal. We got there and immediately the house was chaotic, he walked in and called her a retard. The dog was going ballistic and attacked the sofa and pulled off the cushions off, his mum screamed at the dog, bloke screamed at his mum. I was getting ready to leave but his sister turned up with her kids and I didnt want her to think I was leaving because of her so I stayed. Anyway the kids were aged 11 and 9 and they were just as bad, they jumped on the poor woman, pulled her hair, poked her, threw dog food at her, poured coke on her, the adults were all laughing, the food caddy got thrown across the living room floor with all mouldy rotting food going everywhere, cue much screaming at the dog who went after it. I said I felt ill and had to leave and he came out with me and started going on about how I obviously thought I was better than him and his family and I'm "not all that" etc etc. I feel stupid to have given him chance after chance and its putting me off the entire dating thing. Anyway else had a really, really bad date?

Sorry for the name change, feel a bit stupid and don't want it bringing up in other threads.

OP posts:
MuthaHubbard · 02/06/2010 11:27

have never had a date as bad as that! i think you have given him enough chances and just tell him he's not the guy for you - to be honest, if you finish it now I think you've had a lucky escape!

it seems him and his family have no respect for each other and i wouldn't really want to be involved with someone like that myself.

the thing about wanting to frighten you is just very very wrong and people who've been together 3 or 30 yrs don't do that...never mind 3 months.

whatname · 02/06/2010 11:29

omg, think yourself lucky you are out of it. what a nutter!

ameliameerkat · 02/06/2010 11:30

Sounds like you won't be having any more dates......

SolidGoldBrass · 02/06/2010 11:36

FFS. Just send him a text saying 'Sorry, it's not going to work, have a nice life, don';t contact me again' then block him and don't respond to any calls or texts.
He's a complete arse so don't waste aminute worrying about hurting his feelings. You owe him nothing at all.

Pawslikepaddington · 02/06/2010 11:41

He is a complete loon. I would stay WELL away, block his number and ask him not to call again. So what if he said you thought you were above him. Anyone who doesn't throw mouldy food on the floor at dinner is above him! I would have left at the "I need a s**t" bit. If dp did that now I would be furious and he is well and truly entrenched in the family now!

Nothing for you to worry about. Yes, it is sad he and his family are so messed up, but this is not a cause you need to take up. Between me and my friends we have had some DREADFUL dates, but we are all comfy now. Keep at it!

Malificence · 02/06/2010 12:11

Just keep reminding yourself that your life could end up the same way as his dysfunctional family if you don't dump him pronto!

Sounds like a Jeremy Kyle show, nutters,the lot of 'em .

CheekyPinkSox · 02/06/2010 12:18

What a way to behave when you have guests! Your well shut of that family by the sounds.

dignified · 02/06/2010 12:46

Yeah, i regularly have mouldy rotting food on a caddy too. Run along and make yourself feel important some other way . Yawn.

Undertone · 02/06/2010 13:02

T.R.O.L.L

lolapoppins · 02/06/2010 13:04

I would have go shot of him after the bathroom incident tbh. Run away very fast, he (and his family) sound utterly appaling.

dignified · 02/06/2010 13:05

Trolls are funny sometimes. Cant you even try ?

ruddynorah · 02/06/2010 13:06

caddy as in the food waste thing some councils give? all sounds odd to me. best you keep away from this family. feel sorry for the mum.

ShirleyKnot · 02/06/2010 13:08

£50.00!

BallpointPen · 02/06/2010 13:11

Wowee, sounds like a doozy of a date!

Shouting, mouldy food, violent extended family and insults for afters, lovely.

Don't feel stupid, feel relieved that you're not further involved with such a horrible man.

SleepyCaz · 02/06/2010 13:12

This is what I mean.

dignified · 02/06/2010 13:14

Im going to sack my job, seems i can make millions by posting rubbish on here ! You can make £85 for just posting a few lines of crap.

Ill be rich in a few weeks.

winnybella · 02/06/2010 13:16

Oh fuck off.

ruddynorah · 02/06/2010 13:19

at least he banged on the door to say he needed a shit and didn't just curl one out on your living room carpet

RumourOfAHurricane · 02/06/2010 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pennies · 02/06/2010 13:22

what a load of bollocks

Pancakeflipper · 02/06/2010 13:25

Rubbish ...... Boo....... Next......

Flighttattendant · 02/06/2010 14:14

This isn't even slightly believable.

Just Fuck Off.

SolidGoldBrass · 02/06/2010 14:17

I really don't get the moneymaking aspect, as the trolls don't actually engage in any product placement. IE with this one, there could presumably have been an opportunity or two ie 'He said he needed a shit and it had to be in this bathroom because it's the only one with new SHitbuster airfreshener and super improved Nipsy Joy toilet roll'...

starsareshining · 02/06/2010 14:21

I'm not a troll and I've actually been in situations like this with my ex-boyfriend and his family. They are INSANE. I try not to think about it anymore than I have to because it is utterly depressing. I can actually believe that this kind of thing happens.

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