Have been unforgivable towards 9 y/o dd. Should think the way I behaved will stay with her for life.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Shouldn't think she will ever trust me again.

How to explain stress/hormonal rages to my poor innocent girl?

You need to say sorry straight away.

Well she will understand about losing your temper and saying things you don't mean. Just put it in the context of emotions she does understand.

And she'll cope - a full and frank apology will work wonders.

Are the stress/hormonal rages something you need some medical/expert help with (apologies if you already are)? What can you do to stop it happening again?

Hey Bibs. I think the fact that humans can be irrational and full of rage/ very sad/ frustrated/ whatever is a really important lesson for children to learn. What's even more important and helpful for them is that they 1. develop an understanding of the reasons and 2. Learn that it happens, and it's important to make up for it and aoplogise.

When I lose the plot (usually pmt related) I always explain, apologise and also add that it isn't an excuse, but it is a reason. It can be hard to have to say sorry as if the relationship were reversed, and to let them express how they felt about it, but it is very useful.

And of course, we all try not to do it again...

She'll be fine.

OK... I think many of us do things under the imfluence of our hormones. Don't want to pry so won't ask what happened.

I'm sometimes shouty with my DD (only 2.8) and feel so ashamed of myself afterwards. Doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest although she will say "you shouted at me, mummy".

And it's v useful to explain hormonal/chemical stuff because they are real, expecially to boys who might live with a woman one day.

You say sorry. You say adults screw up too. Explain in simple terms why you stuffed up if possible. Take a 'punishment' if this is severe ( you do her chores at the weekend, you cook her fav meal).

Don't be too hard on you. We all stuff up.

Sorry, that was pointlessly short, meant to add that if you explain and say "sorry" etc I'm sure it will blow over.

Are you ok, btw?

My mum has said many a nasty thing to me when we the ages of you and your DD.
She always apologised soon as, and explained as far as appropriate. I don't think it's any harm to learn that parents are only human too and can be pushed too far. And it's good for her to learn from you how to handle regret, and make amends.
Mum and I have always had a very good relationship, warts 'n' all.
I am sure it'll be the same with your DD.

The fact that you're so worried about it shows that you're a really caring Mum and she will certainly trust you again. I love my Mum to bits and she said some shocking things to me when I was a kid (but because she was/is loving and caring I always knew there was a good reason for it). Do explain to her - she'll appreciate it and remember it when she's a stressed out Mum.

You've got a lot on your plate atm with your dad being ill and family issues
say sorry and explain and don't beat yourself up about it xxx

Thanks

OK. Being honest with you here. It might "stay with her"

BUT if you apologise, say you shouldn't have done it, and explain you were upset about something that has nothing to do with her (ie it's not her fault), that will stay with her too, that will have a big positive impact.

My mum had a lot of rage and never apologised - not once - for the things she had said and done - and that is the thing I remember and resent.

If she had admitted she was wrong, it would have meant so much to me.

Don't beat yourself up - you need to look after yourself too. Sorry you are having a bad time.