would you have a relationship with someone you only saw infrequently?

[rattymcfatty]

i have recently met someone after a long time on my own. I have children and he has a child he spends a lot of time with as well. We only seem to have one day a fortnight when we are both child free and even that can only be a couple of hours due to other arrangements. Would you continue to see them in the hope that the contact would become more frequent or would you just knock it on the head?

Umm, I suppose it depends if there was scope for the situation changing in the future if you wanted to live together etc. If it was never going to change then no I wouldn't put myself in for the pain.

Only ever saw DH once every three weeks before we got married. It certainly kept the spark alight.

every 3 weeks from when you met him? At the moment i don't think i know him well enough to ask if things will remain like this. Trouble is, if we don't spend any time together i'm never going to know him well enough.

My DP lives about 70 miles away. He has his children 6 days a fortnight.
it means that he is back at his place virtually 50% of the time. when he is working ( he is currently not as was made redundant) he doesn't get back until about 8pm.

My advice ould be to end it now.
the longer it goes on the more you will want and if it just isn't possible it just makes things difficult.

has it always been like that gigantaur? I just don't know, i do like him and i have been on my own forever, i guess i'm just not sure how fast these things would normally progress. I think i would be happy for him to meet my kids, anyone to lend a hand lol, but he clearly values the time he has on his own with his son and i don't think he would want me intruding.

How long have you been with him?

I think I would be a lot happier in my marriage if I only saw my dh a couple of times a fortnight. Seriously.

Yes. But I probably wouldn't think it was serious. Or exclusive.

he has moved in with me and plays stepdad to my children. He only goes home when he has his children. After many arguments he has made promises to get me more involved in his life down by him and with his children but they do a lot of clubs and after school activities so tbh it just doesn't work out that way. they have stayed at mine twice in almost 2 years.

I pretend its ok but if im honest if i had known it would be like this, i wouldn't have continued with it.

only since easter, so it's still early days. It clearly isn't serious at the moment but he has been on his own for a long time and like i said is very involved with his son and also his football club, he definitely hasn't got time because he is with other women.

that does sound hard gigantaur

I think you should slow down a bit and think about things as thinking about having him help you with the kids is a bit full on.

I saw DH twice a week for nearly 2 years at first.

lol i was only joking about him helping, i have 4 and they are quite full on. I just meant i wouldn't mind him being here as a friend and just doing what me and my mates do when we are with the kids, rather than as in a potential partner.