my mother misses me...

[sparkle09]

i have not seen or spoken to my mother for nearly 4 years, due to her mental and verbal abuse towards me and my partner. it was also my mothers own doing as to why we dont see her, i wouldnt have chosen this.

i have recently established contact with my youngest sister (3) who is 12, through our other sister (2) who is 20.(she also has nothing to do with our mother, but contact is made with sister2 and our ex-stepfather)

well i have just seen both sisters and apparently our mother misses me and sister2 and talks about us fondly .(funny that seen as the last time i spoke to her i was a skank, and my dads family are a bunch of drug taking inbreds! and my children will end up as crack heads with a family like theirs!)

i think my mother is using sister3 to sneak back into our minds, im strong enough now to resist any temptation to be sucked back into contact with her, i just hope sister2 is also able to stay away.

i knew having contact with sister3 will bring up alot of emotions, but i just wish my mother would stay out of it!

thanks for reading.

Just stick to your guns and ignore this emotional blackmail, you know why you have settled into this no contact situation and it sounds like a wise decision. If possible I would just simply state to both sisters that you want to stay in contact with them (if you do that is) but that you have no interest in discussing your mum with them.

Thank you, i thought i may have over thought it. i know that mentally she will always have some sort of hold over me, i dont think that will ever go, but its something i have learnt to not let take over my life anymore,

i never wanted to lose contact with my youngest sister, but due to her age it was unavoidable until now. but i was prepared to not be able to see her until she was at least 16.

i suppose this is just another step towards me being at peace with who i am without my mother.

The fact is the majority of us do want relationships with our parents, whatever has happened, so it's really hard when a 'toxic' parent tries to come back into our lives because, ultimately, we want it to work, even when so much evidence is stacked against it.

Only you will know if you feel like you want to have any contact with her, but keep it on your terms.